If only there was some other way a knife could hurt you
Where Great Britain used to be, comes the anti-stab knife:
The first “anti-stab” knife is to go on sale in Britain, designed to work as normal in the kitchen but to be ineffective as a weapon.
Ok, then.
June 15th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Looks like it would still have no problem cutting a jugular.
June 15th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Uhh.. Check out THIS comment
Even that knife is too much for some people.
June 15th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Damn, there goes that patent. Now I’ll have to continue working on my anti-punch fist, anti-smash rock, and anti-whack baseball bat.
June 15th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Prepare for the upcoming ban on pointy sticks. Get your blunt object now, before the rush! Oh, wait. Blunt objects are another class of weapons….
The old Monty Python routine wherein the drill instructor has the trainee troops repeatedly attack him with a banana, and then shoots them, comes to mind.
June 15th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Made of anti-sharping or anti-grinding steel in the tip? No? Okay then.
June 15th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Somebody’s been watching their box set of Halloween movies. Entering the kitchen, your eyes are drawn to the empty slot in the knife block. Panic rises in your throat. Who took the knife? Where could they be? Are you in danger? Then you remember, that was your anti-stab knife. Relieved, you return to having sex with your boyfriend.
I’m thinking the families where a random stabbing using a kitchen knife is likely are not the ones who can afford to pay 10 or 20 times more for an anti-stab knife. In more refined homes, they use the grandfathers dagger from the table in the library.
June 15th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Nice. Now instead of just stabbing someone, the Brit criminals can then disembowel them with the gut hook on the tip.
Morons.
June 15th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I’m of two minds about the ricasso. Even after 53 years I still nick myself on occassion but I still need to hold it close to the metal part.
And, oh yeah, it would take me maybe fifteen minutes with a file to put a point on that thing.
June 15th, 2009 at 11:28 am
And, if you will permit me, Uncle, where Great Britain used to be is what happens when a vitamin-free diet interacts with an adolescent homosexual phase.
June 15th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I’m waiting for the foam cricket paddles, rubber monkey wrenches, and plastic golf clubs.
June 15th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
It’s OK … Jihaddis in Britain can still use it to saw off heads.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
French monarchs already invented this 500 years ago. We call them “Butter Knives”. Are people in the FGB so dumb that they don’t realize that you can sharpen metal on a flat rock? In the Philippines, they make swords and machetes out of old pick up truck leaf springs, and then they hunt and kill Islamic terrorists in the jungles with them. These things aren’t hard to make, people.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Just wait until they try to ban toy Jedi lightsabers…