The paper of making up the record falls for satire
A reader emails this quote (with relevant links) from the NYT editorial on banning guns:
Such efforts, while piecemeal, are critically important steps toward a safer country. States and cities have passed laws restricting or banning certain types of weapons, magazines and ammunition
If you click on the word “ammunition” it takes you to this piece, which is a satire/hoax site.
Even better, the original source appears to be a parody of the NY Times.
December 10th, 2015 at 8:02 pm
Fortunately, I don’t live in California, but if I did, I would be less worried about the .45 ACP ban and much more concerned about the new weekly enema requirement for all gun owners. They say that it’s designed to reduce shootings by overly uptight gun owners who suffer from constipation. All gun owners will have to have a professionally administered enema at least once a week by a state certified enemologist, or their guns will be confiscated. At a cost of about $50 a week, which is not covered by health insurance, owning a gun will now cost about $2,600 a year, not to mention the weekly time spent getting to and from the enemologist’s office. Diane Feinstein has said, “Frankly, I’m terrified about what might happen if gun owners don’t get their weekly treatment. If a constipated gun owner suddenly goes off, there’s no telling what might happen. It could severely impact untold numbers of lives with horribly severe and severely horrible consequences. No one on the ‘No Enema List‘ should be allowed to own a gun.”
Also, legislation is currently being discussed in the California State Assembly to mandate a vegan diet for all gun owners. Governor Jerry Brown has said, “The idea of gun owners eating red meat terrifies me. The effect of red meat on aggression is settled science; it’s not even debatable, and when you add a gun to that, it’s just a deadly mix. We desperately need this legislation to protect our children, and teachers, and farmers, and uh . . . truck drivers, and, you know, all those other folks too, uh . . . because guns!”
December 10th, 2015 at 8:54 pm
Chas – thanks, I needed a grin. And a chuckle.
Unfortunately, I suspect (from prior experience with certain vegetables high in protein – beans, particularly) that vegans might be far more likely to “go off”…
December 10th, 2015 at 11:26 pm
That’s hilarious!
December 11th, 2015 at 12:05 am
It’s not really a “hoax” site, it’s just ahead of the curve.
December 11th, 2015 at 11:02 am
The problem with satirizing California, is that it’s hard to tell the difference between satire and California.
December 11th, 2015 at 12:02 pm
I recognized the satirical nature of the article right away, because everyone knows California would ban the deadly .9mm projectiles FIRST, not the .45ACP.
Heck, .9 is TWICE as big as .45, hence TWICE as deadly, right?!
December 11th, 2015 at 4:17 pm
Mikee – well, nearly a millimeter is a lot bigger than .45 of an ACP, right?
Me, I’m just bemused by the way the Times simply assumes that banning various gun things improves public safety.
Because obviously it just has to, axiomatically.
Because guns are just bad and stuff.
Because shut up.