Horror Movie Short Fiction
It was raining and thunder ripped through the sky. Margie curled up on her couch to half-heartedly watch the evening news before it bored her to sleep. The top story was the same as it had been every night this week, the only difference was the number of victims. Tonight, it was number eight. Eight women had now been brutally tortured to death. No leads, no suspects. Only mystery and death but nothing new. Her eyes were half-closed.
Then she heard it.
A click at the door. Followed by another. Margie cautiously approached the door. She’d never heard such a sound. Click. This time the click sounded impatient and the following click came sooner than the previous. Then she saw it. The door knob began to move.
She was afraid. The door opened. There he was, tall, muscular and masked. She drew her Glock 30 and put two rounds of .45ACP in his chest. He hit the floor. She called the cops.
The End.
My horror movie wouldn’t sell. Too short. The premise of horror movies seems to always be a group of teen-something attractive people, who happen to be clueless, fall prey to some guy with a knife. And all those clueless people are pussies. M. Night Shyamalan thinks you’re a pussy too. He needs you to be or his movies would be shorter (I’m of the opinion that they do need to be shorter). I’ve seen a couple of his films and just think What the Hell? In Signs, the farmer takes his family into the basement to wait out the alien invasion. A farmer doesn’t have a gun? Or a stick? A big rock? Or any sort of weapon on his farm? The best he’s got is a baseball bat and water? He doesn’t even take the bat with him into the basement. Stupid.
Or The Village, which I couldn’t even finish because it was so damn slow, was the same way. The big red things come for you and you hide? No musket? Unbreakable and Sixth Sense were good, though.
Or the teen slasher films. Honestly, nobody has a gun and holes up to make a stand? Or grabs their gun to make way to their car to leave? I guess if they do, it becomes an action movie.
June 30th, 2005 at 1:18 pm
Two words, baby: Evil Dead.
“This is my… BOOMSTICK! It’s a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan; retails for about one hundred nine, ninety-five. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right, shop smart, shop S-Mart!”
June 30th, 2005 at 1:20 pm
Zombie movies don’t count because the zombies are usually pussies. But there’s a lot of them.
June 30th, 2005 at 2:05 pm
M Night is hitting .500
The Village was awful – slow and boring and the “surprise” at the end was just pathetic.
Signs was equally slow and boring and the aliends weren’t even scary. I thought there was a gun in the movie though. . . . . not in the Quaker household but with one of the cops.
June 30th, 2005 at 3:45 pm
“Zombie movies don’t count because the zombies are usually pussies. But there’s a lot of them.”
Zombies are civlization destroyers, pure and simple. I remember a post I was going to post about why zombies are worse than vampires.
Both need humans to live, vampires are just smart enough not to kill all of their food, zombies are not.
Yes you might survie a zombie attack, but if you are in a decent group, several of you members will become zombies endanging the entire group, and therefore you.
Secondly, have you seen the next gen zombie moives. Zombies are not slow and they are not weak, just fast and hungry for brains.
June 30th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
Phelps:
Techically, that was Army of Darkness.
Man, I love that movie. Although he did indeed use a shotgun in Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (never saw 1).
/geek
Uncle:
Michael Myers got shot six times in Halloween, for all the good it did. 🙂 (Film flub: In the “flashback” scene at the beginning of Halloween 2, the doctor fires seven times from his revolver.
Anyway, I understand the point you’re trying to make, but Scream notwithstanding, having a gun isn’t terribly useful against horror film baddies. It’s also not terribly useful if you’re an action movie villain going against Arnie, or for that matter a bad guy in any Western ever filmed.
June 30th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
Uncle,
The Panic Room has to take the cake. Mom and daughter have a special room designed just in case some thug breaks into their home. And the damned room doesn’t even have a gun. My panic room is far from impenetrable, but then again, if the shit hits the fan I prefer being able to shoot through the fucking walls.
tgirsch,
I have a 5-shot revolver, and a 7-shot revolver. Most revolvers are between 5 and 8 shots depending on the size. When they hit 12 shots, you can call bullshit.
June 30th, 2005 at 7:11 pm
I always had a bit of a trouble with the logic of guns not taking out vampires. If decapitation kills them, then why not blow off their heads with 00 buckshot? Or a big chunk of metal in the heart might not kill them, but it would surely them take a while to recover, and it would be so much easier to shove that wooden stake in by following the bullet track.
June 30th, 2005 at 8:33 pm
Ravenwood, my crosman 1077 air rifle was technically a revolver and it held 12 rounds 🙂
But it’s dead now.
July 1st, 2005 at 12:23 pm
Ravenwood:
I can still call bullshit, because the number of shots doesn’t match between the end of 1 and the beginning of 2. In any case, look at the gun. 🙂