Apparently, Greece recently made all video games illegal.

Actual KNS Headline: Safety guidelines discourage opening parachutes early

Well, the alternative of opening them late is generally a bad idea too. I guess there is a perfect window of time in which you’re supposed to open it.

Apparently, some Europeans think that the US is to blame for the 9/11 attacks. Hey morons, some insane madman was responsible for the attacks. At least Blair has got our backs, yo.

Donahue may not get a second season.

Apparently at the Earth Summit, the Czar of France has proposed a nifty new global tax idea. The tax could include the following:
· A tax on all or some international financial transactions
· Taxes on specified traded commodities like fuel.
· A tax on the international arms trade
· A charge on international flights with departures and destinations in OECD countries.
· Royalties on minerals mined in international waters
· Parking charges for satellites placed in geostationary orbit
· Charges for fishing international waters
· Charges for use of the electromagnetic spectrum (e.g. television, radio) in OECD countries
· Pollution charges
· A tax on traded pollution permits
So, essentially the point of all this is that the US picks up the charges for the rest of the world. What rubbish! We’re taxed enough and we don’t need no stinking socialism. To wit: the plan mostly centers around plugging up the holes people use to avoid paying the confiscatory taxes inherent in Europe’s high tax land of socialism. In Europe, where there is minimal competition in business, it’s a win-win. However, here in the states where we make more, spend more, and generally do more, while paying lower taxes, it boils down to us paying for the rest of the world.

Apparently, since the US is responsible for all poverty, pollution, and all things evil, it’s not enough that we send aid almost everywhere and act as world police (hell, we have troops stationed in France still just in case Germany decides to walk over there again). We apparently aren’t doing enough. Apologies for the lack of links but few of the fine media outlets at my disposal have done a story on it. Just saw it on TV briefly last night

Well, Americans are fat. We know it. But hey, some folks can get rich off our fatness. Which is good, since some big fat asses are suing the fast food industry. Boy, those tobacco settlements set one helluva a precedent.

Apparently, there’s some kind of Earth Summit going on. I live on the Earth and I wasn’t invited. Of course, Bono was nowhere to be seen either.

Ok, so some insane, paranoid parents are having a tracking device implanted in their child. How disturbing is this? Anyone else get a case of the willies? Of course, given the recent rise in crime in London that not coincidentally occurred simultaneously with increased gun control laws, maybe they should just get one of those child leashes.

Saddam has weapons of mass destruction. No he doesn’t. Yes, he does. No he doesn’t. Yes, he does. Well, without inspections we’re not gonna know until one hits Israel, the US, or some neighbor that Saddam doesn’t particularly like that week.

So the N’Sync Guy won’t go into space. I’m sure I speak for the rest of the world when I say ‘So?’

While at the Super Target yesterday purchasing groceries, I came across an interesting new fruit. Said fruit is a cross between an apricot and a plum. It’s delicious. It’s tart and sweet and is not quite as juicy as a large ripe plum. It tasted great and I bought a pound of them (what the hell, I’m affluent). Now, this fruit is man-made, or at least manipulated by man into creation (I mean, we can’t create genes yet can we?). My only gripe is that if we’re making fruit, why not make it seedless? After all, it may be like a mule and unable to reproduce so the seeds may provide some sort of aesthetic quality. But I don’t know.

Now, the quandary: It seems that the trouble with creating these fine fruits is not interspecific hybridization, genetic manipulation, or ethics dilemmas. The problem with this wonderful creation is coming up with an appealing name. A name that says ‘I’m tasty.’ A name that tells the buyer what this wonderful fruit is. See, the name of this fruit is pluot. What an ugly name for a great tasting treat. Seems these genetic scientists and farmers could benefit from some good marketing people to come up with better names. Pluot just doesn’t sound appealing, does it? But hey, go buy some, they’re well worth it.

Snooping around on one of my favorite sites, Open Secrets (link at left), I’m left wondering why Harrah’s Entertainment (yes, the casino people) is the top soft money contributor in Tennessee.

Florida gubernatorial candidate Ernest Borgnine has apparently got some competition. See, without the Delta Squad at her disposal, Ernest ain’t so tough!

Maybe they’ll actually do some research and reporting with all the new resources at their disposal.

Sam Adams is in trouble again. First that Opie and Anthony silliness, now this. It’s a pity, I love their beer. Sam Adams, brewer, patriot.

Apparently, sources close to Colin Powell tell Time that he will quit after Bush’s first term and he has no plans of running for President.