Nothing ever is. It’s the fault of society, my parents, somebody else or any various addictions I may have. At least, that’s the message we in America hear every day.
Whitney Houston honestly believes that she is a victim of drug addiction. No Whitney, you’re a crack head with too much money.
Hillary Clinton honestly believes she’s the victim of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. No Hillary, you’ve done some questionable things in the past. And when you stepped into the limelight some of that stuff reared its ugly head. And your husband isn’t a saint.
Some old granny thought it was McDonald’s fault that she spilled coffee in her lap. No, you shouldn’t have spilled it on yourself.
And a burglar in New York City broke into a woman’s home and cut himself on the glass. And guess what! A jury said it was the woman’s fault. No, you shouldn’t have been breaking into people’s houses.
What has happened to our country? We’re too litigious, nobody is responsible for anything, and we actually sit idly by and absorb this crap. Who’s at fault? I have some ideas:
The media: They pipe this stuff into our homes and (quite often) take the side of the imbecile that thinks the bad things that they’ve done were the result of them ‘not being happy.’ Hey moron, none of us are happy all the time. Happiness comes in little tiny bursts, it’s not a perpetual state of bliss. Contentment, however, is attainable.
Lawyers: Well, someone’s gotta get rich off this lack of personal responsibility nonsense. Since lawyers and their clients make big bucks of this crap, it perpetuates.
The medical/psychiatric/therapy/self-help crowd: By far the biggest enabler of this trend. Psychology (from the Greek Psych meaning ‘to make’ and –ology meaning ‘stuff up’) has given us several new tools to avoid being responsible for ourselves. We get Chronic Fatigue Disorder to justify why we’re tired all the time, it has nothing to do with not sleeping, taking care of ourselves, or anything like that. We get Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder to explain why we can’t control our kids and must drug them into compliance (by they way, the US is the only country that actually recognizes this as a disease). We get Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to explain those little quirky things about ourselves that we don’t like. And we get Manic Depression to explain why we feel different ways at different times. And the catchall: Depression. If you’re not happy all the time, you must be depressed. None of us are happy all the time. Deal with it.
A story about me: Several years ago, there was about a two month period in which I lost (while not dieting) about 20 pounds. This is a big deal when you only weighed about 160 pounds at the time and are six feet one inch tall. So, concerned, I go to my doctor. They poke, prod, and take samples. All the tests come back and I am the pillar of good health apparently. So, my doc says he’s going to prescribe mood elevators for me. I get a nifty prescription to Zoloft. Which I took for exactly three days and threw away. It made me non-reactive to my surroundings, apathetic, and, of course, I had a problem with the erection that I had for three days straight (ordinarily, that wouldn’t be a problem but I wasn’t dating then). I called up the doctor and asked what Zoloft did. He told me it elevated my mood. I asked how. He couldn’t answer. I did some research and found out Zoloft slowed the production of serotonin, which is what makes your body regulate various processes. I stopped taking the stuff after reading the side effects and realized I was having some of them. I finally concluded I was stressed and just wasn’t eating right and all returned to normal shortly thereafter because I started eating a big breakfast. The moral: they had no idea what was wrong so they doped me up. And this behavior continues today.
Parents are willing to administer drugs to kids that are possibly addictive and could lead to kidney failure because they can’t control their kids. Since the can’t control them, the kids must have ADHD, so your local psychobabbleist will prescribe you anything you want. It has nothing to do with poor parenting skills. Doctors are willing to administer drugs to people and really don’t know what the drugs do.
Now, obviously, I’ve gone to the extreme on this. I do realize some people are legitimately depressed or legitimately have ADHD or these other ‘disorders.’ But these are definitely over-diagnosed and are used as excuses for bad behavior. Like when the woman killed her five kids because she was depressed. I really wish the medical/psychiatric/therapy/self-help crowd would take a bit more care in diagnosing this stuff. But not every single one of us who does something stupid has a psychological disorder.
I’m off to write my own self-help book. It will be entitled I’m Okay, You’re Fucked Up.