Buyer Beware
I got one of those satellite dishes at home. It’s great because I now have about 4,587 channels of crap that I don’t watch. And it’s all much clearer than cable. I also get the major networks in two time zones. The problem with it is that now the wife can watch Oprah and Dr. Phil at 6 and 7 o’clock respectively (assuming Friends isn’t on any of the other 4,585 channels, which it always is). This is bad. Very bad.
When I work late (which is often) I get to come home and hear the summary of Oprah. I do usually manage to make it home in time to enforce the standing No Dr. Phil rule that I am currently begging my wife to follow to absolutely zero avail. Sometimes, however, I don’t make it. Dr. Phil, a quackopractor, err psychologist, is known for telling folks like it is. Which apparently involves making excuses for those things we don’t like about ourselves. After watching Dr. Phil, my wife becomes an expert on whatever is ailing people and society that day. The other day, it was Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (or OCD, or, as I like to call it, Being Responsible). Per the wife, Dr. Phil said 70% of Americans suffer from OCD. I, being the unconvinced smartass, stated: Well, how can it be a disorder if 70% of us suffer from it? Sounds like it’s being normal to me. I’d be worried about the 30% who don’t have it. Also, Dr. Phil said we should be angry at the disorder and not the person. Which is consistent with the current US Policy of not holding anyone responsible for anything, when there’s a disorder to blame. This, of course, upset the wife a bit. See, she’s one of those people who always leaves the iron on, if you catch my meaning. I love her to death, but she’s quirky. That makes me love her more. (I am so lucky she doesn’t read this site, in case you’re wondering).
With satellite TV and the Internet, it’s hard to control what is piped into your house at instant speed. This makes the concept of having children even scarier to me!
