SayUncle Newsbrief
Knoxville, with city motto of Oh, it might snow at some point so let’s shut down the city, is preparing for wintry death. An unbelievable record of one or maybe even three whole inches of powdery, cold doom is quickly descending upon the fair city. Reports are coming in of people already driving badly in anticipation of the impending natural disaster. This could be the end of life as we know it! said local resident Anal McLooney.
A flurry of meeting cancellations came across SayUncle’s desk today as a result of the impending blizzard of 2003. Uncle, a local resident, is still puzzled by the fact that meetings with persons who have offices less than ½ a mile from his own office are being cancelled even though he hasn’t seen one flake of snow.
It’s not even snowing yet, what the fuck’s the problem? Uncle reportedly has said. Meanwhile, there are only three cars in the parking garage at his office.
When we last left Uncle, he was on his way to all the grocery stores to buy all the remaining bread and milk just to piss off the people who made it totally pointless for him to go to work today. He was quoted as mumbling something about those fucking pussies and their SUVs.
