Before the Mrs. and I got married, we did the honorable thing and lived in sin for a while. I highly recommend it. But this isn’t a post about that, this is a post about this:

Men aren’t big on decorating. I never was. My old condo had white walls in every room, Berber carpet, and black furniture. Oh, the dining room was oak. One thing noticeably absent (I know this because people came in and said I notice that absent is . . .) from my condo was wall art (no pictures or paintings) and knickknacks (you know, little things that sit on your end tables). All that was on my furniture was lamps, coasters, and the occasional glass. My condo was, to use the phrase of a friend, very Spartan.

Then the soon-to-be Mrs. moves in. Suddenly, my natural habitat was disturbed. I now had on my furniture many knickknacks, such as various framed pictures of people I didn’t know, a basket for remote controls (I stored them in seat cushions), and various ceramic/glass/porcelain things strewn about the house in a seemingly random (though entirely purposeful) fashion. Also, I had wall art: pictures of flowers, more pictures of people I didn’t know, and a painting of this solemn looking boy staring out into the sea. And candles. Lots of candles. Single men don’t have candles, they like to use Mag-Lites and other gizmos when the power goes out. The candles were scented too.

Then the painting started. We spent an entire month painting every room in the condo but one, which we left white. It was my toy room/office. The wife said the white walls made it look like a hotel room. At the time, I was working in public accounting and traveled a lot. So, I found the hotel room look familiar and comfortable.

After the placement of various knickknacks around what was formerly my bachelor pad, me and the soon-to-be Mrs. were watching television. It was winter. I was laying on my black leather couch and the Mrs. was on the matching love seat. I started getting hot. So, I shifted my blanket a bit. Then I was still getting hot, particularly my feet were really warm. I shifted my feet again.

That did the trick, I was comfortable. A minute or two passes and my feet feel as though they are on fire. I re-situated my feet again and all of a sudden from under the blanket erupts a giant fireball. I, understandably shocked that a fireball had just come from my blanket and having watched one too many Discovery Channel specials on spontaneous human combustion, was a bit alarmed. I leapt to my feet (bad move, my socks were on fire), grabbed the blanket and threw it on the floor. Then I jumped up and down like a mad man on the blanket in an effort to extinguish the fire on the blanket and my feet. I then grabbed the blanket, used it to extinguish my feet, and rolled it up with the fire in the middle. The fire was out. By the way, I doubt stop, drop and roll works on feet.

You would think that the love of your life would notice that her soon-to-be husband was on fire. No, she intently watched Friends while I was trying to put myself out. Then I started cussing. She, concerned now, asks What’s wrong?.

I was shocked. She missed the fireball, missed me extinguishing myself, and missed the smell that burning blankets make because she was watching some tired, old repeated joke on Friends.

I instruct her (and by instruct mean yell loudly) that I was on fire. I show her my socks (which are burnt black), I show her the blanket (which was burnt black), and I showed her the armrest of the leather couch which was singed in such a way that the mark looked remarkably like a Christmas tree. Then, she starts laughing hysterically.

You’re probably wondering how my feet caught fire. Actually, you’re also probably wondering why my feet exploded into a fireball. It puzzled me too so I put on my arson investigator’s hat and determined that:

I was laying under a blanket that had little, frilly threads on the end. One of the newly acquired candles mentioned above (an item only recently introduced into the SayUncle habitat) was on the end table by my feet. I had apparently re-arranged my feet and, while shifting, the candle ignited the frilly threads. Then when I noticed my feet were a bit warm, I rearranged in such a fashion to place the end of the blanket under my feet where it smoldered for a bit, burnt my couch, and ignited my socks. When the heat was unbearable, I arranged my feet again at which point the oxygen hit the smoldering cloth and ignited a fireball.

The moral of this story: your future wife may or may not notice that you’re presently on fire. And if she does notice, she may find it funny.

Now, Guy is appeased.

Concealed carry allowed in Missouri:

Lawmakers today granted most Missourians the right to carry concealed guns, overriding a veto by Gov. Bob Holden (D) and reversing the outcome of a statewide election on the issue four years ago.

Life was hard for a boy named Sue. He broke his rusty cage and ran.

Johnny Cash 1932-2003

The KNS ran an article on how local bloggers dealt with the two year anniversary of 9/11.

I was quoted at great length:

“SayUncle,” another anonymous local blogger, said on his page at www.saysuncle.com that he struggled to come up with an appropriate memorial and didn’t like any of his ideas.

So he posted the famous picture of the firefighters raising the American flag in the World Trade Center rubble. Below the picture he told readers, “So here’s what you won’t hear the other sites’ memorials say:

“The firefighters hired a lawyer (who appeared on the O’Reilly Factor) to claim intellectual property rights to this image. Also, families of victims are holding out for a bigger chunk of money in a potential lawsuit than they would get from the government’s settlement.”

SayUncle chides the airline industry for offering more expensive and worse service after taking a “taxpayer-funded bailout,” and says Sept. 11 “has been used as an excuse to trample civil liberties.”

He concludes his post, “And the office jerk still takes the last of the coffee without making more. It seems like we’re back to normal again. Don’t forget 9/11 but more importantly don’t forget America.”

The article mentions Bubba, Bill Hobbs, Dave and Adam posts about 9/11.

Including PDF printable targets. Give it a read.

Bangkok Post:

Owners of illegal firearms will have 60 days to surrender their weapons without facing legal action, a House extraordinary committee scrutinising a gun control bill said yesterday.

The panel has approved the government-sponsored bill giving a 60-day amnesty to people who agree to return illegal weapons and fireworks to the state, said panel chairman Gen Rattana Chalermsanyakorn.

Failure to hand over illegal weapons within the 60-day period is an offence punishable by a 10-year jail term and a 20,000-baht fine under the bill, which has already passed its first reading in the lower house.

And

He denied any link between the push for the bill’s passage and the government’s policy to ban sales and possession of firearms within six years.

I struggled to come up with an appropriate 9/11 post. I had some drafts and ideas. I didn’t like any of them. So here’s what you won’t hear the other sites’ memorials say:

The firefighters above hired a lawyer (who appeared on the O’Reilly Factor) to claim intellectual property rights to this image.

Also, families of victims are holding out for a bigger chunk of money in a potential lawsuit than they would get from the government’s settlement.

The airline industry began taking advantage of their customers after 9/11 after the taxpayer funded bailout by offering more expensive service that was worse.

Moonbats swear Bush and the government had advance warning of the attack and allowed it to further political careers.

9/11 has been used as an excuse to trample civil liberties.

Addressing terrorism is no longer a bi-partisan effort.

Our leaders have failed to address the Saudi role in 9/11. Actually, they’ve not only failed to address it, they’ve actively said don’t address it.

Those that profitted on September 10.

The EPA telling everyone the air around ground zero was safe even though they lacked evidence to make that claim.

And the office jerk still takes the last of the coffee without making more.

It seems like we’re back to normal again. Don’t forget 9/11 but more importantly don’t forget America.

One more thing: To quote Jamey Jasta:

Now is the time for me to rise to my feet
Wipe your spit from my face
Wipe these tears from my eyes
I will be heard.

Per our local news station, comes this:

A slip of a finger can lead you to things you never wanted to see. Typos online can take you to hardcore porn. But now could the internet be cleaned up? The Knoxville Police Department says a new federal law could help make the world wide web a little safer for kids.

Type in “Bob the Builder”, but miss a letter and the kid-friendly cartoon construction worker doesn’t appear. Hardcore porn does.

I think keeping kids safe is a parental thing, but apparently I am the only one.

Prosecutors say John Zuccarini, arrested last week in Florida, is responsible for hundreds of tricky porn sites, and he’s the first person in the United States arrested for breaking the new truth in domain law.

I wasn’t aware we had a truth in domain law. Ya know, I don’t really walk around saying uncle all the time. But apparently it is a little known portion of the Amber Alert Law . . . And Big Stupid Tommy isn’t stupid. SouthKnoxBubba doesn’t live in South Knoxville. And CJ probably really isn’t up for anything. Guess they’re coming for us.

Porn theaters spring up in Baghdad.

Big Stupid Tommy, who we have confirmed is not stupid but no confirmation if he’s big – other than his monster noggin) tackles science’s pursuit of the five second rule.

I should point out that in the SayUncle household, there are many changes to the 5 second rule. Having two large furry dogs rules out retrieving anything wet or sticky. And if it’s meaty, well the same two large furry dogs will likely beat you to it.

One other thing, I can’t make fun of his big head as I myself wear a 7 3/4 hat. Ya know what they say about guys with big heads? We wear big hats. And we blog.

Alex Knapp addresses the call for a shift entitled LIBERTARIANS AND DEMOCRATS, TOGETHER AT LAST? The question mark at the end of the title should be bigger.

The calling of Libertarians into the Democratic fold stems from recent civil liberties issues. It is worth pointing out that such a shift likely won’t occur because of the significance of gun control to Libertarians and Democratic nannyism. Seems as though Libertarians’ choices are to pick which civil liberties matter more. I think that is crap.

Via Alex comes this dated article stating:

. . . hardly anybody has noticed how Libertarians have put Republicans on the brink of losing the Senate. In both 1998 and 2000, a Republican candidate for Senate lost to a Democrat by a margin much less than the Libertarian’s total vote.

The most recent victim was Slade Gorton of Washington. In a final tally that took weeks to add up and confirm, he lost to Maria Cantwell by 2,228 votes. A Libertarian candidate, Jeff Jared, hauled in 64,734 votes. Two years earlier, Republican John Ensign lost to incumbent Democrat Harry Reid in Nevada by a measly 428 votes, in a race that saw Libertarian Michael Cloud draw 8,044 votes. If Ensign had won that race — beating a man who is the second-ranking Senate Democrat, no less — and another Republican had picked up the seat Ensign came back to win last year, there would be two more Republicans and two fewer Democrats in the chamber. Instead of a 50-50 split, Republicans would have a 52-48 majority. There would be no morbid Strom Thurmond death watch.

People often ask me if I would be willing to let the Democrats (instead of the lesser of two evils) win to teach the Republicans a lesson. Absolutely.

Alabama said No! to new taxes 67% to 33%. Good for them.

Kevin, who for some unfathomable reason thinks tax hikes are good, opines the following two points that strike me as odd:

1: So, for the time being, Alabama will remain a backwater unable to attract any decent jobs.

I fail to see how taxes negatively affect job creation. Companies like to operate in states with low taxes. In fact, many states offer companies exemptions to taxes for coming to the state. I think Alabama did that with Mercedes, but can’t find a source. And the other truth about taxes is that companies don’t pay taxes. They pass that cost on to their customers, plus a service charge.

2: The terms of the debate are shifting, and the “tax cuts will lead to nirvana” era is coming to a close.

Tax cuts do not lead to Nirvana, they lead to cash in people’s pockets. I am of the opinion that everyone gets screwed by taxes in this country, it just depends on the tax. For example, poorer folks are excessively burdened by gas taxes, sales taxes, employment taxes, and other fees. The wealthy are abused via the income tax. The middle class gets it from everywhere.

One truth remains, at the end of the day: it’s the spending, stupid. And by stupid, I don’t mean Kevin. I mean to rip-off a famous quote.

This water tower was done by troops from the 101st Airborne from Ft. Campbell, who’ve been in Iraq since March.

Nice!

Mike goes shooting for the first time. His response? Well, go read.

Berkeley Breathed is bringing back Opus! Rock on.

Via Matt

First, Jeff has the weekly gun thing up.

Next is that a group of bloggers has decided to collaborate and bring you The Shooters’ Carnival. This is a group blog that focuses on guns. This site is not intended to discuss the politics of guns, rather it is a how to informational site. Current topics include:

Building AR15s
Keeping Your Gun Clean
Purchasing a Gun
Shooting on a Budget
Basic Safety

The site is open to contributions from anyone. Current contributors are:

Alphecca
Boone Country
Hell in a Hand Basket
LayLines
Publicola
SayUncle
Smallest Minority
Stop the Bleating

Kevin has an informative post about universal healthcare and the US. I, as though you couldn’t guess, oppose universal healthcare. One reason is that I think our system brings in the best doctors (who are motivated more by money than in Canada). People come to the US for their surgery, I don’t know of anyone who goes to Canada for a specialist, unless it’s for a procedure the FDA hasn’t approved yet.

Kevin writes:

And those tiny little tax cuts the vast majority of Americans got? Never mind the increase in local propoerty taxes and sales taxes, they will probably be eaten up by an increase in what you pay for your insurance

Well, those tiny tax cut aren’t related in any way to insurance costs. They don’t affect each other. Kevin also says our system doesn’t work. We don’t have a system, we have a market, unless it’s for the poor or the elderly.

He also states that a universal system would better than what we have now. My question is Better for who? I can understand the desire to provide healthcare to those who can’t afford insurance but I am satisfied with my insurance coverage that I pay for out of my pocket. I have Canadian friends and I would be unwilling to trade my current coverage for theirs.

Also, universal healthcare would put a lot of people out of work.

I don’t think universal healthcare is the answer. I think healthcare benefits provided to those who can’t afford them is the answer. We already have that it’s just expensive to taxpayers, riddled with fraud, and apparently not enough folks can access it.

He points out that Medicare and Medicaid are well run, effective programs. I think that’s not the case. I think that Medicare/aid are good at not increasing costs but I tend to doubt any government agency runs well or effectively.

Something needs to be done but I don’t think universal healthcare is the answer.

I am remiss in mentioning that Snopes retracted the bin Laden family flight story. And he apologized to Michael Moore. I suppose H&HH should know about it.

Apparently, body armor is popular among gangbangers. Therefore, a group of prosecutors are seeking legislation in Cook County to crack down on its use.

Friday night, some bloggers in KTown got together to chat. I got to see Rich again, always a pleasure. And, Rich, I dunno what she sees in me either.

I saw Les Jones again, who has good taste in beer and is a very engaging guy.

I got to meet Mr. Lawson for the first time. He’s a nice guy who apparently works a whole lot.

Guy Montag came in from out of state. And, he’s my new hero, since he brought me a Romeo y Julieta. However, his computer ability scares me.

We were even treated to a drive-by Instapunditting. He showed up with his brother, bought everyone a round, and sped off in his Mazda. He, myself, and Rich talked about the blogosphere’s gangbang on Fumento. I instructed Insty that I was the one that tipped him off and he looked at me like he had no idea who I was or that I did, and smiled and said thanks! Ah, fame!

Strangely absent from our little shindig was the entire left wing branch of Rocky Top. Bummer.

The always excellent AlphaPatriot has been on a roll lately.

Using capitalism to vote! Is there anything capitalism can’t do? I think someone should create a site that tracks corporate contributions by the corporation not who they contribute to. I have boycotted many businesses for a while but I’ve lost track of why. I don’t shop at Kroger, buy SE Johnson products (and that is hard), nor do I eat at McDonald’s. Sadly, I can’t remember why now (it’s been going on for a while). I’m pretty sure it has to do with guns.

Brasil’s gun problems.

The Democrats’ embarassment.

In fact, just go read everything.

I said before that there was no way in Hell Dean could win the nomination. Looks like I was wrong on that, he’s coming out pretty strong. He has a better chance than most people thought. I still contend that he couldn’t beat Bush, but we’ll have to see about that.

Readers will know that I’ve not been a fan of Bush or Republicans recently. So, why not Dean? Here’s why:

He supports the assault weapons ban.

He wants to raise taxes.

It seems every politician is supporting the ban these days, which is totally unnecessary legislation. The support could be a ploy since they could be relying on the ban not even making it through Congress and, since there’s little likelihood they’ll have to vote on it, their support for it will never culminate into any sort of action. So, given Dean’s history on gun control (i.e., he’s never been for it), he could be entirely catering to liberal gun-control nuts. Whereas Bush has said he supports it, most likely to appear moderate.

The raising taxes thing also annoys me. Lowering taxes is one of the things Bush and company get right. I pay too much and would like to pay less. I definitely don’t want to pay more.

And that’s why not Dean. I will very likely vote for a third party candidate this time around.

Last night on the Discovery Channel (which I always seem to watch for the 30 minute time period between my wife watching Sex and the City and me watching Mail Call) was this show on the Bible Code. Apparently, there are some sort of matrices that words from the Bible can be put into and some folks think that it predicts the future. In fact, one guy said that it predicted reds and blues, mentioned Gore by name, and referred to him as maybe Gore.

One other thing some guy said was that the world would end in 2010 based on this code. And the end would follow the peace between Israel and surrounding nations. For this to come about, the peace has to occur this in September or October 2004 (yes, this month or next) so I think we’re safe.

Via UnknownNews, comes this story about Ashcroft getting his pee pee whacked:

Attorney General John Ashcroft has two weeks to explain why he should not be required to appear in court to tell why he violated a judge’s gag order by commenting during this year’s terrorism trial.

U.S. District Judge Gerald Rosen issued the 14-day directive on Friday in response to a motion filed by lawyers for three men who were convicted in June after the trial, the Detroit Free Press reported in a Thursday story.

However, to be fair and balanced, I must say that as much as I enjoy watching Ashcroft held to account, I think judges issuing gag orders is unconstitutional. Subsequently, someone should also whack Rosen.

Les is sporting a fancy new moveable type page.

Spam really kicked up for me the last week or so. Anyone else suddenly getting tons of spam?

I have it on good authority that Vin Diesel will be in (of all places) Dandridge, Tennessee filming an action movie about meth labs. I asked the person telling me this why Dandridge was a good place for filming such a film and he stated that meth was the South’s new moonshine and it’s all over East Tennessee. It’s cheap and easy to make (though dangerous).

Meanwhile, with our growing meth lab problem, it’s good to see the cops spending their time catching consenting adults doin’ it in parks.

Rebecca Paul is coming to Tennessee to head up our Tax on Hope. Bubba thinks she’ll do a good job, even though she’s a Shumaker waiting to happen.

In my post about the SCOTUS rejecting an appeal regarding the AW ban, there were some interesting comments:

Kathy K writes: Perhaps because they knew that SCOTUS, as it presently stands, is rather hostile to the 2nd Amendment.

I agree with her statement. However, I think that any battle that is important to people should be waged regardless of the position of the current court. Otherwise, separate but equal would still be the law of the land.

Rick writes: While the ban on AW’s is completely moronic, giving the green light to full autos would get the anti-gunners frothing and tune many undecided into anti’s

The AW ban does nothing to regulate full autos. Such regulation is the same as it was in the 1934 Gun Control Act.

Brian writes: I don’t follow gun matters like you do, but I don’t think the Supreme Court has made a strictly Second Amendment ruling in decades. It’s not something the courts have gotten into.

I don’t think the SCOTUS has addressed 2A directly since 1939 (US v. Miller). But a study shows that the SCOTUS has done the following:

– The Court has not been quiet on this subject as previously thought, using some form of the word “gun” in its decisions 2,910 times (gun, rifle, pistol, shotgun, firearm, etc., even Winchester five times) in 92 cases. Three dozen of the cases quote or mention the Second Amendment directly.

– Armed self defense with personally owned firearms is recognized and supported in more than a dozen cases, is a distinct right of American citizens, and an ancient “duty to retreat” is not obligatory.

– The often-cited Miller case from 1939 is inconclusive, which is why gun-rights and gun-control advocates both claim it supports their position. The record shows that the Court actually remanded this case back to the lower court for retrial and a hearing on the evidence, since there was no evidence presented. Because Miller had been murdered by that time and his co-defendant had taken a plea agreement, no retrial or evidentiary hearing was ever held.

– All 92 cases are reproduced to show what the Court has actually said. More than 1,000 interesting quotations are highlighted, and each case includes a plain-English description. A special “descriptive index” reduces each case to the firearms-related question(s) it answers.

And the most important bit: Co-written by an attorney who has won three cases before the High Court, along with the research director of a prominent think tank, and a nationally recognized gun-law expert, the researchers conclude from the evidence that the Supreme Court has recognized an individual right to arms for most of the past two centuries.

He logged his 200,000th visitor. Here at SayUncle, we’re at about 45,000.

Mind you, White Glenn gets 45,000 by about noon and 200,000 in two days. What’s a guy gotta do to match that?