Look before you merge
I was driving down the road today with the Mrs. in the car. We come to a stoplight and are in the left lane so I can turn left. A guy in the right lane apparently decides he wants to merge, despite having warning well in advance that if you want to turn left here you should have merged a while back. The fact that I am occupying the space that he wants to merge into doesn’t dissuade him from attempting. He came close to hitting me and I honked. Our rearview mirrors came within inches of each other. And then he honks at me. I honked the honk of the guy letting you know you’re about to hit him. He honked the honk of a pissy little cry baby. It’s not like I cut him off or anything, he just pulled over into us.
At this point, the guy (who’s driving a minivan with some friends of his in it) is window to window with the Mrs. The Mrs. is pregnant and rather, uhm, hormonal. Suddenly and without warning, she flips him off. A good long bird, it was. Right there within about two feet of his face. I laugh because I’m shocked. This is not something a non-pregnant Mrs. Uncle would do. She’s not like that. It is, however, exactly something I would do. But she almost had her SUV seriously scraped by some idiot. The combination of me laughing and her having just flipped him off really got him in a tizzy.
He then flips my wife off, mouths some words, and pulls in behind me. Once behind me, he continues flipping us off and honking his horn. I, being the smartass that I am (one capable of annoying the shit out of anyone I set out to), calmly turn around and blow the man a kiss. Men in these parts don’t like to be blown kisses by other men. He then does the typical stupid guy thing and makes a motion like he’s going to get out of his minivan and actually opens the door a bit. And I’m thinking Idiot! What are you going to do? Are you going to kick my ass? Pull me from my car? Whatever.
He didn’t get out of his car, which is about the only smart thing he did during this encounter.
Moral of the story: Some people in traffic lose control. It doesn’t help to annoy them but it does provide some entertainment.
February 1st, 2004 at 11:45 am
Similar story in Sevierville. I was in the left turn lane and at the instant the turn arrow went green, Captain Clueless beside me on the right gunned his car into the intersection, cutting me off as he turned left from the “You must go straight here” lane.
I gently remonstrated him by laying on the horn.
This idiot stops his car in the middle of the intersection and gets out of the car, coming back like he wants to fight me. I smiled and waved as he approached, then the guy in the pickup truck behind both of us, the guy who was almost rear ended because idiot boy parks in the midle of a left turn, pulled up beside him and gently persuaded him to get his ass back in his car and move on by driving directly at him.
Moron man showed that whuile he may be terminally stupid, he did retain a basic sense od self preservation, as he returned to his car without further incident.
I’m betting there was a short bus somewhere in his past.