Presidential Endorsement
People have started endorsing their candidates. Mr. and Mrs. Bubba are for Clark. William is for Edwards. Brian is too. Who do I endorse? Glad you ask. I endorse Yellow Dog.
Let’s compare Yellow Dog to other Democrats:
| Issue | Democrats | Yellow Dog | Winner |
| Funeral director mystique | Look like funeral directors, except for that Edwards girl |
Does not look like a funeral director |
Yellow Dog |
| Opposable Thumbs | Most seem to have at least two | Does not have thumbs. But makes up for it by having twice the number of legs as Democrats; the spine helps too |
Tie |
| Mass Transit | No discernible position | Proposes a high speed rail system; Opposes being run over. |
Yellow Dog |
| Most likely to pee on your rug | Have you seen Kucinich supporters? |
Housebroken but may have accidents if not monitored |
Tie |
| Cuteness | Quite a homely crowd, except for that Edwards girl. |
Downright cute | Yellow Dog |
| Offensive Odors | Have you seen Kucinich supporters? |
If Yellow Dog can avoid rolling in roadside feces or eating dead things, he’s quite bearable. |
Yellow Dog |
| New Tricks | Up to same old tricks | Capable of new tricks | Yellow Dog |
| Cats | Likes cats, in public | Has potentially killed a few cats |
Yellow Dog |
| On the US Postal Service | All for it | Wants to abolish the USPS or at least restrict their use of mace |
Democrats |
| BoobieGate | Appeal to others by stating the half time show was out of line |
As one who is naked in public all the time, has no problem with bare breasts. |
Yellow Dog |
| Hair | Have you seen Kucinich? Or Sharpton? |
Shiny yellow coat | Yellow Dog |
| Listening to the people | They can’t listen with all that talking they do |
Say sit and Yellow Dog sits quietly and listens. Say speak and Yellow Dog speaks |
Yellow Dog |
With a score of 9 – 2 – 1, Yellow Dog has it.
February 4th, 2004 at 9:33 pm
I still think that Jim Traficant and Zell Miller are the only two Dim-O-crats for whom I could vote. This is coming from a family that was ALL Dim-O-cratic… of the traditional “yeller dog” variety.
February 5th, 2004 at 8:00 am
ye dun made me laff, sir. that chart is one of the funniest thangs ive read lately. at the moment, the yella dog has my vote, no matter whut they end up a’namin him (john? rover? wesley? spot?). dont matter nun whut ye call him longs he kin beat tuther guy. thang bout yer chart is im beginnin to thank we need one of yer verr own dogs in this hunt: how bout politicully incorreck dog? he seems to have lots of fite in him.
February 5th, 2004 at 2:46 pm
I talked to PID, he seems uninterested. He’s getting over surgery to remove a cyst.
March 28th, 2004 at 8:02 pm
Thank you for your endorcement, sorry it took me so long to find you. Next time I’m on your side of the hill I’ll stop in and shake your paw. -Yellow Dog
February 4th, 2004 at 3:11 pm
Right now, the only Democrat I can support…
…is a Yellow Dog Democrat. The cat thing could be an issue, though….