The funniest thing I’ve read since, err, yesterday
5 Responses to “The funniest thing I’ve read since, err, yesterday”
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February 13th, 2004 at 3:28 pm
I worked in pizza delivery for twelve years, most of them in Knoxville. My favorite delivery area by far was South Knoxville (not sure if Bubba was ever a customer or not 🙂 ). Anyway, the most humorous situations would happen when the drivers would try to be facetious with customers.
To wit…
1. A customer would try to order a “mushroom and beef” and we would ask “Would you like those on a pizza?” Then came the inevitable silence.
2. A lady called to request that we deliver her a “12-inch pepperoni pizza” to which I replied, “Ma’am, you’re asking an awful lot of me.” She was so embarrassed, she hung up, but called back shortly to say she had been inadvertently “cut off”.
3. A man and his woman (and that term is used very loosely here) came in to complain that there was a hair on their pizza, and they wanted a refund. When we asked to see the box, they opened it where we found one slice remaining, with a huge handful of hair on it. Obviously, they mistook us for suckers. We sent them home with a $3 off coupon, to their dismay.
4. Yet another South Knoxvillian requested that we sell him a “Filet-O-Fish” sandwich. When we informed him that we were not McDonald’s, he refuted our claim, and refused to leave until we brought him one. The manager sent one of our drivers out the back door to the local McDonald’s to purchase a “Filet-O-Fish”. Shortly, he returned to the register, gave the sandwich to the manager, who then politely sold it to the man. The customer left as happy as could be, satisfied in the receipt of his fish sandwich.
I have more of these stories, but I won’t bore you. Twelve years of that gig were enough to convince me that I had likely overestimated the collective IQ of America.
February 13th, 2004 at 3:38 pm
THe fish one is pretty good. I never could get pizza guys to pick me up a six pack on the way. Dammit!
February 13th, 2004 at 4:19 pm
I used to pick up a 6 pack all the time… in fact, I kept an extra one in the cooler in the truck, just in case. Sometimes, I could make an extra $3 per can. 🙂
February 13th, 2004 at 11:00 pm
I ordered a burger from BK once with no burger at the time when all the “where’s the beef commercials” were on tv. I recapped the line to the winow worker and got a good laugh. PIZZA STORY: I had a pizza delivered once,….box was hot like pizza was in it,…had weight to it and everything. I sat the box on the kitchen counter and went into the bedroom for a few minutes to do something when a frantic knocking came to the door. The pizza guy had a terrified look on his face but said nothing for a minute or so,….so I slammed the door shut. I went and opened up the box,…where about $200 currency and coin change were laying beside a half eaten pizza!! Anyhow, I was honest, opened the door, gave it back to the guy. He’d ate some pizza of his own and dropped his “bank” in the box by mistake!
February 13th, 2004 at 11:03 pm
Oh wow! Poor pizza dude.