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Names & Such

Should have written this sooner for the benefit of Les Jones, but when it comes to baby names my advice is to keep the names you’re pondering to yourself. When you start telling people what you’re thinking about for names, they all have a story. When we came up with names at first and would mention it to people, they would say things like (and I am not making any of this up):

  • That so-and-so’s dog’s name – Huh? You tell someone who has put a lot of thought into a name that your first thought is someone has a dog named that.
  • Hey, that’s that porn starlet’s name – Are you kidding me? That’s probably worse than comparing her to a dog. And that one came from my dad.
  • Oh, that’s your distant cousin’s name whom you never met, you know, the one serving 10 – 15 for armed robbery – Groan
  • Like that girl on that show that nobody can stand? – Yes, I named my child after an annoying sitcom character.

    Take my advice, if you really like a name, keep it to yourself and surprise everyone with it when they can’t offer any advice. They just have to sit there and smile when it’s permanent.

  • 5 Responses to “Names & Such”

    1. Bruce Says:

      That’s EXACTLY what we did when our twin girls were born. Didn’t tell a soul.

      It’s the only way to do it, or else you’ll be opening yourself up to a shitstorm of criticism and commentary.

    2. Thibodeaux Says:

      Yep, that’s what we’re doing. Although we are using a code-name: Boudreaux.

    3. Justthisguy Says:

      Whisper it in the Priest’s ear just before the christening. Before that, tell NOBODY! Uh, y’all are doing it Anglican, right? snork

    4. tgirsch Says:

      There are certain names I generally avoid. “Justin” and “Trevor” and “Joshua” are names that are liable to get a kid beat up (especially if, in the last case, that kid goes by “Josh”). And under no circumstances should you name your child after a city or state (with the possible exception of “Virginia”).

      For some reason, I’ve always been mildly hostile to names that can’t be shortened to one syllable. My wife’s name is like that, so I’ve got several single-syllable nicknames that I’m far more likley to use than her actual name. :”>

      And for the love of all that is good and holy, NEVER name your child “Tom” unless you want trouble! 😉

    5. Les Jones Says:

      You’re right, Uncle. No one liked the name Thundaara.

    Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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