Rerighting
Patterico called on readers to create (well, I’ll let him say it) a new version of the Bill of Rights, rewritten to show in plain English what rights we actually hold today — now that the courts have reinterpreted the various amendments beyond all recognition. This reminded of Jeff’s The Bill of a Few Remaining Rights from a while back.
XRLQ chimed in with his rendition, which I think pretty much nails it. I would add:
Amendment I
Congress shall make laws regulating speech as it relates to congress. After all, we have incumbency to think about.
Amendment II
Keep it moving, nothing more to see here.
Amendment IV
This amendment doesn’t apply with respect to drugs or your own private automobile. Yet strangely, may apply to abortions because a right to absolute privacy is meant by papers and effects. Technological advances such as indoor plumbing render that whole knocking thing inconvenient.
Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall be mandatory. We can’t have potentially dangerous poor people running amok, now can we.
Amendment IX
Hah, yeah right.
Amendment X
Powers not delegated to the states or people will be curtailed because local folks want Free Federal Funding.
November 12th, 2004 at 8:58 pm
Oh, and don’t forget that “papers and effects” don’t apply to any transactions you make with any financial institutions, especially if anything involves large sums of money. Or visits to your doctor, and maybe even purchasing OTC cold medicine.