10 – When the in-laws have the baby for the night, your plans include getting lucky. And by getting lucky, you mean getting to bed early and sleeping in.

9 – At least weekly, there is some new gizmo that shows up in your house. You typically don’t remember buying it or what it’s for.

8 – You buy five gallon tubs of OxiClean.

7 – You can use new excuses on your wife like: How many times can I be expected to go into Toys R Us and not buy an XBox? or Yeah, you and I have a rifle but the kid needs one too!

6 – Your pitch for talking your wife into sex includes the phrases I know you’re tired but I’ll get up with the baby tonight and C’mon, it won’t take long.

5 – All other children are measured in relation to your child. As such, all other children are ugly.

4 – No time to finish lists

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Posted in Notes to Junior on December 23rd, 2004 by SayUncle | RSS 2.0 |