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Eye-opening visit

My in-laws came over the other night. One of my nephews is five years old. And he can’t wipe his own butt. I discovered this when he visited our bathroom, finished up, and began calling for his mom. I thought it was odd. After they were gone, I said to the wife Did you know he can’t wipe his own butt? She said He’s only five, like it was the most normal thing in the world. I still found it odd but I am apparently the only one. I figured by that age, kids could wipe their own butts but I figured wrong, I am told. Apparently, that’s the age in which they start learning how to wipe their own butts. Then it occurred to me that I have at least five years of butt wiping ahead of me.

13 Responses to “Eye-opening visit”

  1. countertop Says:

    I’ve been butt wiping for about 9 months or so. Doesn’t feel that long, but I guess thats how long my son has been potty trained. He wants to wipe his but – and likes to rub his dirty butt on people’s pant legs and then start laughing – but he can’t. He tell’s me he is only a “little boy” and I need to wipe it for him.

    Oh well, look at it this way, its better than changing a dirty diaper.

  2. Andy Says:

    Yup.

    Around 5 is when they start learning. They will be quite proud when they do it themselves.

    The mess they can make wiping their own butts is amazing… I mean horrifying. For a while you have to check how well they cleaned up.

    -A

  3. ben Says:

    heh heh heh, that’s for sure. Lots of fun!

  4. Captain Holly Says:

    Boys don’t seem to pick up things like butt-wiping and toilet-flushing until they’re much older (some never learn, as anyone who has lived in a barracks can attest). Girls seem to be much better. They have an inborn “ick” factor in them and are less likely to put up with racing stripes.

  5. Heartless Libertarian Says:

    I haven’t gotten to that point yet (Jr just hit 21 months, potty training just getting underway; #2 is at somewhere less than -1 months. Arrival will interrupt Jr’s training) so I have to go by the tales of others. One of the NCOs here (he of the famous 48 hr CPL) said the method he used with his reluctant son was simple: if you don’t want me to do it for you, you’d better figure it out. Because it won’t be fun when I do it.

  6. Jay G Says:

    Mine’s 4 years, 10 months. 2 months to go!

  7. tgirsch Says:

    I’m still personally horrified by this “new” parenting that waits until kids are two and three years old before they seriously start toilet training efforts. Apparently someone wrote a book in which they described too-early toilet training as “traumatic.” Baloney. When they’re old enough to walk, they’re old enough to start working on the bladder control. (Says the guy with no kids.)

  8. Busy Mom Says:

    Even after age 5, the self butt-wiping skills vary wildly, especially with boys. Sorry.

  9. _Jon Says:

    Two points – My dog has never needed me to wipe her butt. She’s 14. Odd design, the human anus. Did cavemen have to use leaves and such?

    Also, your kids may be wiping your butt one day. It would be wise to teach them well.

  10. Darrell Says:

    Heck, I’ve got a 16 yr old nephew whose mom would still wipe his butt if he’d let her…

  11. tgirsch Says:

    Continuing my previous train of thought, I checked with my parents, who tell me that all three of us (their children) started potty training at about age 1, and were completely potty trained (minus the wiping) by around age 2. So maybe I’m not all that weird when I raise an eyebrow at the 3-year-old walking around in a diaper.

  12. tgirsch Says:

    And my parents further said that we were all wiping our own butts before Kindergarten, which is age 4.

  13. AlanDP Says:

    Well, I don’t want to brag or anything, but my son and daughter both could do that before they turned four. I think five is way too old for that kind of thing to be going on.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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