Or a post about life, the universe, and everything. But mostly the universe.
This post will be rambling in nature, you’ve been warned.
About once every few years, I go through this phase wherein I ponder the nature of the universe. As opposed to the rest of the time, when I could apparently give a fuck less because I got shit to do. Since this is the first time where I’ve gone through that phase while having a blog, I figured I’d bore the shit out of you err entertain you with it. Now, it’s been a while since I’ve read any Hawking or Sagan, so a lot of this crap is from memory, and mine is usually faulty. If I’m wrong about something, let me know as it may make my pondering easier. So, a few notes on my understanding of the universe based on crap I read many years ago:
1 – At one point in time, there was this big ass thing. Well, we don’t know really if it was big ass but it was massive. And they don’t really know what this thing was but take their word for it, it was massive. This thing may not have actually been a thing either as it currently is viewed as a mathematical concept. Apparently, it was so massive that all the stuff that is currently in the universe comprised this big ass thing, which seems to indicate it was a big ass thing and not a big ass mathematical concept. So, it was probably at least as massive as a 1965 Buick Wildcat. At some point, the big ass thing got so big ass that, instead of crushing itself under its own big assness, it exploded, which makes no sense. But that’s what they say. This explosion (called either The Big Bang or Let there be light, depending on who you talk to) created the universe as we know it. All that stuff in the big ass thing turned into a bunch of small ass things that were immediately hurled out into space – and don’t even get me started on space. Nevermind, I’ll get started on space. That’s the other thing about the universe: sure there’s a lot of stuff in it but there’s more lack of stuff than anything else. They call this lack of stuff space.
2 – At some point all that stuff created will get as far as it can get and then it will turn around and head back to the middle to rejoin the big ass thing that it was once a part of, kind of like a paddle ball. This is referred to (by me, anyway) as a collapse but people who study this crap call it The Big Crunch or Armageddon, depending on who you talk to. This happens due to gravity or invisible men in the sky, again depending on who you talk to. We’re apparently still in the exploding phase of this process as (they say) the universe is getting bigger. Which is good news, I suppose. I mean it beats knowing that we’re collapsing. That’d be depressing. So, at some point, all things will rejoin the big ass thing and we’ll all die at the hands of a mathematical concept.
3 – This process perpetuates, which is to say that this big ass thing explodes, collapses, explodes again, and collapses again. Seemingly, forever.
4 – The universe is definitely finite. Or definitely infinite. There’s some disagreement on that. Regardless, it’s pretty fucking big. It has to be since it holds all our stuff. But I think most people seem to think it’s finite.
5 – The universe is really, really old. It’s so old that we (well, I) can’t even begin to fathom how old it is. It’s been around an estimated 13.7 billion years (± 200 million years).
6 – The universe (and I’m not making this up, I swear I read it in a Hawking’s book) is shaped roughly like a banana. It’s not important to the discussion but I thought you’d like to know. And, of course, it implies that the universe is finite.
So, this leads me to my pondering:
In the life of the universe, I am (heck, the whole of human existence for that matter is) totally insignificant. This, of course, leads me to wonder about my own insignificance. Am I insignificant in the way that feminists are insignificant in elections? Which is to say, I serve no greater purpose? Or am I insignificant in the way a red blood cell is insignificant? Which is to say, that while an individual red blood cell is in fact insignificant, the totality of all red blood cells is quite significant. Or, put another way, am I a cog in well-oiled machine? Or just a byproduct of the machine’s production.
If the universe is, in fact, finite, where the hell is it? If we assume it’s not everything, well, it has to be somewhere. And if it is finite, are there more? And where are they? And will we ever run into another one? And if it is finite, where the hell did all the space come from. And where exactly is it?
If the universe is infinite, then there has to be infinite me’s. Which makes me not insignificant, after all there are an infinite number of me’s out there. Spooky. Also, if it is infinite (which I don’t really buy, by the way), well, I can’t comprehend that as it would still have to be somewhere as far as I’m concerned. And, of course, if it is infinite, the big bang seems to imply that while it is infinite in terms of space, it’s probably not infinite in terms of the stuff in it, which means there likely aren’t infinite me’s out there. ETA: And, if infinite, it may just be a bunch of space with an inifinite number of big ass things exploding and collapsing all the time.
Since it’s really, really old, what was around before it was? You know, what was here, say, 15 billion years ago? Just a big ass thing and some space?
This leads me to my conclusion, which is that the existence of the universe [which seems to be perfectly aligned to create itself, create life, and create cool things (like Double Stuf Peanut Butter Oreos and Buick Wildcats)] indicates the existence of a higher power. Or that everything (including Oreos and Buick Wildcats) is a remarkable series of coincidences. Either seems likely to me.
If there is a higher power, where did it come from? Does God have a God? Does God’s God have a God? And we start the pondering infinite and perpetual loops again. Not only does the universe perpetuate itself, it perpetuates the pondering of itself.