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Tofu is the answer to Global Warming

All this time we thought it was humans that caused Global Warming. It turns out it is mostly humans that eat cattle. I feel so superior now.

Actually I don’t eat much tofu, but it makes a good title. My smugness will probably be diminished after the UN calculates all the fish and chicken farts. And I eat a lot of black beans. That can’t be good.

Thank heaven for the UN.

3 Responses to “Tofu is the answer to Global Warming”

  1. beerslurpy Says:

    Yeah, because transporting vegetables to market doesnt consume gasoline.

    Also, most of the carbon that cows emit ends up as poop on the ground rather than methane. Cow are mostly removing CO2 that would otherwise just sit there as grass stalks. The cropped grass grows quicker and thus removes more CO2 from the air. You would think the cows were just sitting there in the field emitting toxins and not doing anything useful for the environment.

    Also, the cows dont “soak up” water, they consume it and pee/perspire it back into the environment as quickly as they consume it. The article states it like some sort of thermodynamic miracle is at play.

  2. Rivrdog Says:

    Since the eating of bean-curd protein causes HUGE flatulence in human digestive systems, we are replacing the methane farts of the cattle with the methane farts of the humans.

    Probably not much gained there for global warming.

    Of course, the Democrats will probably mandate filter-briefs for everyone which will convert the methane into useful compounds.

    As always, the law of unintended consequences takes precedence.

  3. #9 Says:

    Good catch Rivrdog, as pointed out in South Park episode 302 farting humans are serious business.

    Al Gore will save us. I’m serial.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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