SayUncle: Let’s get the question everyone is wondering out of the way: are you retarded?
Senator Finney: Uh, no.
SayUncle: You sure? That looks like drool? *offers wetnap* I mean, I hit myself on the finger with a hammer and I haven’t been the same since. You sure you didn’t hit yourself in the head? Like, maybe a few times?
Senator Finney: No, can we get on with it please?
SayUncle: Sure. You want to use the legislative process to get an answer to the question of whether the universe was created by a “Supreme Being.” What’s up with that?
Senator Finney: My goal is to formally prod the Department of Education into a dialogue about the teaching of evolution in school science classes without also teaching the alternative of “creationism,” or “intelligent design.”
SayUncle: And you figure the best way to do this is to look like a dumb ass and make your constituents also look like dumb asses? We did elect you, after all.
Senator Finney: *blinks*
SayUncle: I mean, it seems to me that you’re trying to force the state to assume a position on religion via legislative fiat. That’s kinda dumb and, you know, maybe unconstitutional.
Senator Finney: Unconstitutional?
SayUncle: What’s next? Mandating that the egg came before the chicken?
Senator Finney: Uh, the chicken came first. But I would mandate that the chicken came first.
SayUncle: Uh, no. The egg came first. See, the chicken is only a few tens of thousands of years old. And before the chicken was around, there were these things called dinosaurs. And they laid eggs. So, egg wins.
Senator Finney: There were no dinosaurs.
SayUncle Really? I
Senator Finney: Yeah, God put those bones there to test our faith.
SayUncle: I thought they died because Noah didn’t have room on the arc.
Senator Finney: No. They are a test of faith.
SayUncle: But if you mandate a state position on faith, there’s not really any left to test now is there?
SayUncle: Don’t you have any thing better to do? You know, like fix the budget, Tenn-Care, reform corruption?
Senator Finney: The state has a vested interest in addressing complex social issues . . .
SayUncle: *interrupts* Like curing cancer?
Senator Finney: Err, yeah . . .
SayUncle: Have you thought about banning cancer?
Senator Finney: You can’t ban cancer.
SayUncle: No shit. You can’t legislate God into existence either.
Senator Finney: Will you untie me now?
SayUncle: Sure.