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Communication Issues

Last night, the Mrs. says she’s going to take the kids with her to the in-laws for dinner and for me to have some alone time. Cool. She tells me to take it easy and enjoy myself. So, I get in and plop my skinny ass on the couch. And stay there for about two hours, catching up on some TeeVee.

The Mrs. and the kids return. She says: I took out the trash.

Me: Oh, is trash day tomorrow. I forgot.

She says: Did you make the kids’ lunches for tomorrow?

Me: Err, no.

Her: [groans].

Me: Obviously, our definitions of take it easy and enjoy myself are different.

10 Responses to “Communication Issues”

  1. Kevin Baker Says:

    As “Do these pants make my ass look fat?” means “Remember that sex we were going to have? Ever again?” “Take it easy and enjoy yourself” means “Do chores while I’m away. Or else.”

    How long have you been married?

  2. Melody Byrne Says:

    Considering that my personal definition of “take it easy” is “do half the stuff I usually do on a daily basis” I can’t say that I’m surprised.

  3. Chris Says:

    I’ve got two words for you… managed expectations.

    Two hours in front of the idiot box once in a while isn’t a bad thing. Twenty hours a week will make a vegetable out of the strongest of us. So she’s PO’ed because you didn’t read her mind… she’ll get over it.

  4. Michael Silence Says:

    Clearly, you have not learned yet. Don’t translate literally!

    “Don’t do as I say. Do as I think.”

    Good luck with that one!

    As for the previous comments: What they said.

  5. nk Says:

    The secret to a happy husbandhood:

    “Yes, dear.”
    “Ja, Liebschen.”
    “Qui, cheri.”
    “Si, querida.”
    “Tak, kochanie.”
    “Da, draga moe.”
    “Nai, agame mou.”

  6. tkdkerry Says:

    Sometimes I declare a day of “down time” for myself. That means only, and absolutely only, what I want to do when I want to do it. Wifey has ALMOST learned what the frac that means.

  7. straightarrow Says:

    I don’t speak female either. A sin for which I have and expect to continue to pay dearly.

    But God love ’em, what are you gonna do. You can’t live with ’em and you can’t get away with mur….. uh, no, I mean uh, yeah.

    Seriously, the illogic of the female mind is like getting a new surprise present everyday. For the adventurous it is a delight, for the more settled it can be unsettling. My only real problem is the one time you are completely wrong, they got it right and never, ever let you forget it.

    My wife and I have an understanding, simply put it is that I am wrong. Seems to work. 🙂

  8. Captain Holly Says:

    I’ve found that my wife’s definition of romantic evening and date night and affordable clothes are quite different from mine, too.

  9. Joe Huffman Says:

    “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” Cool Hand Luke Just before the bullet goes through his neck.

    My wife not only expects me to read her mind she thinks she can read mine. When I ask, “Did you take the film into be developed?” she thinks I am really asking, “Why didn’t you take the film in?” When she tells me of all errands and chores she did for the last week but never once mentions the film I think she didn’t hear my question or she is avoiding the question so I repeat myself. She repeats herself. I repeat myself LOUDER. Things go downhill from there.

    No blood has been spilled yet but a lot of tears have.

  10. t3rrible Says:

    ha ha

    sucker!!

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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