SayUncle Interviews TN State Senator Raymond Finney
SayUncle: Let’s get the question everyone is wondering out of the way: are you retarded?
Senator Finney: Uh, no.
SayUncle: You sure? That looks like drool? *offers wetnap* I mean, I hit myself on the finger with a hammer and I haven’t been the same since. You sure you didn’t hit yourself in the head? Like, maybe a few times?
Senator Finney: No, can we get on with it please?
SayUncle: Sure. You want to use the legislative process to get an answer to the question of whether the universe was created by a “Supreme Being.” What’s up with that?
Senator Finney: My goal is to formally prod the Department of Education into a dialogue about the teaching of evolution in school science classes without also teaching the alternative of “creationism,” or “intelligent design.”
SayUncle: And you figure the best way to do this is to look like a dumb ass and make your constituents also look like dumb asses? We did elect you, after all.
Senator Finney: *blinks*
SayUncle: I mean, it seems to me that you’re trying to force the state to assume a position on religion via legislative fiat. That’s kinda dumb and, you know, maybe unconstitutional.
Senator Finney: Unconstitutional?
SayUncle: What’s next? Mandating that the egg came before the chicken?
Senator Finney: Uh, the chicken came first. But I would mandate that the chicken came first.
SayUncle: Uh, no. The egg came first. See, the chicken is only a few tens of thousands of years old. And before the chicken was around, there were these things called dinosaurs. And they laid eggs. So, egg wins.
Senator Finney: There were no dinosaurs.
SayUncle Really? I
Senator Finney: Yeah, God put those bones there to test our faith.
SayUncle: I thought they died because Noah didn’t have room on the arc.
Senator Finney: No. They are a test of faith.
SayUncle: But if you mandate a state position on faith, there’s not really any left to test now is there?
SayUncle: Don’t you have any thing better to do? You know, like fix the budget, Tenn-Care, reform corruption?
Senator Finney: The state has a vested interest in addressing complex social issues . . .
SayUncle: *interrupts* Like curing cancer?
Senator Finney: Err, yeah . . .
SayUncle: Have you thought about banning cancer?
Senator Finney: You can’t ban cancer.
SayUncle: No shit. You can’t legislate God into existence either.
Senator Finney: Will you untie me now?
SayUncle: Sure.
February 27th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Yeah, God put those bones there to test our faith.
And test our faith it has.
February 27th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Seriously, dude … posts like this need a food and beverage warning
February 27th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Hilarious.
February 27th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
So the asshole thinks he can do better than two thousand years’ worth of ecumenical councils? I am a Christian but not because the government tells me I should be one.
Matthew, 23:15,
“Woe to you, experts in the law [Scribes] and you Pharisees [intellectuals], hypocrites! You cross land and sea to make one convert, and when you get one, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves!
February 27th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I know you have a sledgehammer, why are you fooling around with rope?
F & B Warning!
February 27th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
There were no dinosaurs.
I heard that in in my youth, from fundies my mother dragged me around. Also was told that satan had a workshop in darkest Africa where dread diseases were created, and that rock music would destroy your hearing but a thunderclap was harmless because it was natural while the music was unnatural.
February 27th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Well, rock music does tend to have a higher correlation to ear damage, largely because you don’t tend to get thunderclaps every tenth of a second. If you are, ear damage tends to be the least of your worries.
Anyway… the point isn’t to legislate a deity into existence, or for that matter, legislate dinosaurs out of existence. It’s to force first amendment debate on the matter. Obviously (and this is fairly obvious) she’s not going to say Creationism or Intelligent Design is real. On the other hand, unless she can clearly say creationism is false (political suicide even in liberal areas), she’s going to leave a paper trail that would make a further argument toward allowing (although not requiring) the teaching of creationism in a school under the first amendment.
Oh, and your link lies. The Scopes Monkey trial had nothing to do with evolution in general, or even macroevolution in general. The only lesson prohibited by law was that humanity had evolved into place. Given the bad habit of eugenicists or other vile individuals to use Darwinism to support their methods, I can understand that one.
February 27th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
[…] worth a read. […]
February 27th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
🙂 nice one.
February 27th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
Smashing. Nice use of the ‘chicken/egg’ line.
February 28th, 2007 at 2:18 am
Blogging Can be Dangerous for Monitors and Keyboards…
Holy beer goggles, Batman! I nearly spat my diet Coke all over my monitor. That's twice today … and I can't decide which is more hi-larious …
…
February 28th, 2007 at 6:37 am
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February 28th, 2007 at 7:48 am
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March 1st, 2007 at 12:59 am
perfect…loved the fundie dino reference!