In which I address my spam
Viagra/v1@6ra/cialis and all that: Sorry, but I really don’t need a boner for 36 hours, even if it’s just $0.09 per pill.
First Third Bank: seriously, that’s the name you came up with? Am I supposed to guess like the next word or something?
Haja Laila Hassan: SORRY BUT I DON’T DO BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE WHO USE ALL CAPS, NO MATTER HOW ENTICING THE $20M YOU’LL GIVE ME IN EXCHANGE FOR $10K.
Mr. Hot Stock Tip: Wow. It’s selling for only pennies! It must be a good deal.
Vera: Look, I like wild party girls / big badonkadonks / hot teens / nymphos in heat / milfs next door / lesbian tongue baths / midgets / girls masturbating as much as anyone, but I ain’t paying for your site. Porn is free. And knock it off. Sometimes I read email at the office.
Levitra: I don’t even know what the fuck you are.
Cheap Long Distance: I have a cell phone. It’s already free. That’s as cheap as it gets.
Extra-Time: No, I do not ejaculate within seconds of penetration. And if I did, do you think I’d tell you?
Cheap insurance: Got plenty, thanks.
I don’t need any carbon offsets, thanks. If I want bullshit, it’s in the pasture behind my house.
Big Dick Pills: I’m quite comfortable with myself and, really, does anyone need an extra six inches? Two, maybe but not six.
Online gambling sites: Err, have you been paying attention to the Feds?
Warez: Is that in Mexico?
Financing: Really? Finance a home for 3%! I’ll be happy to give you my bank info!
Supplements: err, have you seen my diet?
A Rolex for $20! They have those in Warez.
April 6th, 2007 at 1:33 am
Rudy Giuliani.
(/cheapshot)
April 6th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
First Third Bank: There’s a Fifth Third Bank chain around here. I generally refer to it as the “one-fifteenth of a bank.”
Weirdest spam ever: an email allegedly from the Nigerian Railroad Company asking for bids on 3,000 miles of used railroad track. (E.g., maybe a million tons of scrap steel.) If it was a fraud, I sure couldn’t see how it could work, but if it was serious, they need to understand that electrical engineers don’t drive full-size electric trains…