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This just in

In addition to the Nobel Peace Prize, Obama has recently been named Motortrend Car of the Year and Employee of the Month at Wal-Mart store #4606 in Osceola, Iowa.

Also, a whopping five out of five dentists agree he’s good at removing tooth decay.

And he holds 12 times his weight in liquid.

Update: Being told he is in the running for the Heisman. And now comes with bacon and in low-fat versions.

9 Responses to “This just in”

  1. Pete Says:

    Are you voting for Obama for the Heisman? Write him in!

    http://promo.espn.go.com/espn/contests/theheismanvote/2009/

  2. Molon Labe Says:

    He’s not only the USA president, but he’s also a client.

  3. DAD Says:

    “We should stop comparing Obama to Hitler. At least Hitler got the Olympics to come to Berlin.”

  4. Chas Says:

    I heard Time Magazine is going to name him “Woman of the Year” and Hillary’s pissed about it. Apparently she’s already tired of women coming up to her and saying, “Why him instead of you?”

  5. Jon Says:

    I believe they’ve added this since my first vote a couple days ago:
    “* Only those candidates with a legitimate chance of winning the Heisman Trophy in the view of ESPN and Nissan will be added to the leaderboard.”

    Boooooooooo! How boring.

  6. W.Richards Says:

    I think the Heisman poll is rigged. I personally know of at least 10 (Cough, cough ) “Chicago votes” on the write in on the website if you know what I mean ; ), in the last 5 days or so …. and his name is still not appearing on the web site.

  7. Metulj Says:

    Ha!

  8. BillH Says:

    “Only those candidates with a legitimate chance of winning the Heisman Trophy in the view of ESPN and Nissan will be added to the leaderboard.”

    ESPN must be a bunch of raaaacists if they don’t think he can win.

  9. Tam Says:

    ESPN must be a bunch of raaaacists if they don’t think he can win.

    BillH wins the internets!

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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