Assault Weapon
We must ban cans of green beans.
Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.
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August 18th, 2010 at 10:39 am
What, and leave the Jolly Green Giant defenseless? What if he runs into an Amazon?
August 18th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Vegetable cans don’t assault people, people assault people.
What would be a “reasonable restriction” on the manufacture, sale and possession of canned food?
How many times does something like this have to happen before we do something about it? If it could save the life of just one child, shouldn’t we restrict canned food immediately? Cans are deliberately made to be hard, impervious containers. Surely the manufacturers bear some of the responsibility for this incident. Public safety is at stake.
August 18th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
Why are you picking on only the green beans? Does not a 16oz can of refried beans weigh the same as a 16oz can of Delmonte’s Green Beans? Will I not bleed if hit with either can hard enough in my noggin? And what about the whole pintos, the Boston Baked, the Limas, and so on, yea, even unto the canned peas and carrots, or the sauerkraut?
Lets stop this beanie racism here and now. Any bean can can be a killer bean can, can it not?
August 19th, 2010 at 1:43 am
I had a neighbor walking out of the store when a homeless bum sitting on the sidewalk by the door lifted her dress. She pulled out a #10 can of peaches and clocked him right on top of his head. Out cold and bleeding like a hog.
LE rolls up, exits the unit, takes one look at Sumdood, looks over at 4’9″ and rolled out laughing.
She was home before the ice cream melted. Sumdood? Nobody has seen him since.
Beware the power of peaches.
August 21st, 2010 at 6:21 pm
I prefer Tactical Bacon,,,just saying.