Harshing gunny mellow
Cracked: 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly):
. . . if Homo sapiens are good at one thing, it’s killing other things. We’re so good at it that we’ve made entire other species cease to exist without even trying. Add to the mix the sheer number of armed rednecks and hunters out there, and the zombies don’t even stand a chance.
August 20th, 2010 at 10:57 am
They mention dessication as one problem zombies can’t deal with. But what do you get when you dessicate a zombie? A mummy, that’s what. Do you know how hard it is to kill a mummy?
August 20th, 2010 at 11:13 am
7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)in the USA (fixed it.)
Europe, Canada, not so much…..
August 20th, 2010 at 11:46 am
All a zombie outbreak would do is thin the population down to rednecks and gangbangers. Then, the real fun would begin.
August 20th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
The article ignores all the libtards that would be arguing for Zombie rights and getting court injunctions against zombie killin’…
August 20th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
“. . . if Homo sapiens are good at one thing, it’s killing other things.”
Hmmm. If they’re not really “living things” to begin with are we actually killing them ?
Just saying.
August 20th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
So only rednecks and hunters are armed? Tell that to some of my business executive and professional friends.
Humans haven’t been so great at killing viruses, and a zombie outbreak is a virus outbreak.
August 20th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Now, technically, a zombie would still be a human. Although Viral Zombies would be humans that have been effected in distinctly unhealthy ways, the processes would continue to be natural, and the changes to the body would not create a different species. For example, you can get cancer, or get pregnant, or get AIDS and while the changes to your physiology would be significant, there is no debate that you remain human. In summation, a Zombie Apocalypse would be Human V. Human, or more accurately, Human V. Virus, not Human V. New Species.
August 21st, 2010 at 7:03 am
It’s this type of best-case scenario thinking that convinced England it could whip Germany easy, that convinced the North it could whip the South easy (and vice versa), and that convinced the Romans not to worry about the barbarians.
If we’re lucky, zombies will be a natural phenomenon that fizzles out on it’s own. If the zombie hoardes are created by demonic magic – which is the most reasonable way dead flesh will reanimate – we’re hosed. Demonic leadership, demonic healing powers, demonic teleportation into unexpected places, and that’s before the vampires and werewolves comes.
August 21st, 2010 at 10:02 am
It isn’t the supernatural demonic phenomena that worry me – it is the other species that can be affected by the zombie virus. What would H. sapiens do about animals that carry the zombie virus?
I worry about the zombie pigs, cows, sheep (see the movie “Black Sheep”); or worse, zombie rats, zombie mosquitoes, zombie bats, zombie cockroaches, zombie fleas?
August 21st, 2010 at 3:22 pm
My mother was no redneck but she would say, “I do not fear tha dead, I fear the living”.