Constitutional Rights For Zombies
The police bring the stupid, the zombies bring the lawyers:
Seven zombies accused of carrying weapons of mass destruction will be staggering to the bank shortly with a bundle of cash, courtesy of a legal settlement with the City of Minneapolis.
The seven were arrested in 2006 during Aquatennial while dressed for a “Night of the Living Dead.” They were stiff-legging it down Nicollet Mall to protest mindless consumerism when some unhappy soul called 911.
The cops busted the seven for disorderly conduct and said the zombies’ homemade public address rig looked like a weapon of mass destruction. The zombies spent some brief, scary time in jail, where the cops confiscated one protester’s very real prosthetic leg.
A PA looking like a weapon is a crime? Doesn’t matter that it isn’t one, I guess.
August 24th, 2010 at 10:23 am
Settlement should have been doubled and come out of the police officers retirement fund. And the officers gear and weapons should have been tossed in the settlement to boot.
August 24th, 2010 at 10:26 am
I wonder if the officers laughed out loud as they decided what charges to slap on these protesters?
August 24th, 2010 at 1:06 pm
hey, 2006? That means this only took four years, (which is nothing when you are undead, I suppose).
August 25th, 2010 at 12:54 am
Lets see: A) Zombies have a Constitutional Right to be at the Mall. B) Scotus says I have a Constitutional Right to Self-Defense. C) So if the Zombies come to my Mall and start to threaten me…. Sounds like it’s time to have the First Annual Mall Zombie Mowdown Shoot! Ohhh, decisions, decisions..12 Gauge or Uzi? Which is Better for Zombies: 9mm or .45? Let’s Find Out! Just how loud is the Barrett Indoors? Just think, hundreds of Mall Ninjas lining up to enter at $25 a head, and you keep the Brass! And since the Police have been told to stay away and not harrass them… This may not be such a bad court ruling after all.