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Toothfairying is hard

Up in the middle of the night. Sneaking around. No, I wasn’t trying to see the eclipse because it was dark. I was trying to steal a tooth and replace it with a $5 bill. Junior managed to lose her tooth in the most unceremonious way. She was at gymnastics, went to the bathroom, and came out and said ‘here’. And she had her tooth in her hand. No blood. No crying. No drama.

I sneak into her room and slide my hand under the pillow. Grab the bag the tooth is in and she stirs. So I hightailed it out of there. Had to wait a few minutes sneak back in with the five spot. She can be a light-sleeper.

21 Responses to “Toothfairying is hard”

  1. Jay G. Says:

    Dude, $5?

    Don’t tell my kids, okay? They only get $2… 🙂

  2. martywd Says:

    Grandson lost a tooth recently.   His mom finds Grandson in his room just before bedtime, moving furniture around, placing stuff in the path to his bed, etc.   Mom asks Grandson what he’s doing?   Grandson’s reply: ‘I’m setting a trap for the Tooth Fairy!
    .
    Fortunately the Tooth Fairy has a mole in the household and was able to avoid being ‘trapped’.   This time.
    .
    Be careful out there!
    .

  3. Robert Says:

    I’m gonna have to delegate the tooth fairy detail to my wife. I’m about as sneaky as an elephant wearing a suit of jingle bells.

  4. clamp Says:

    Yeah, $5 is definately in high cotton territory. That fairy only dumps a buck in quarters under the pillows of our adorable little spawn.

  5. Mad Man Says:

    At least she’s not sleeping with a gun on the nightstand — yet.

  6. Laughingdog Says:

    My mom taught me that you leave the tooth in a cup on the dresser next to the bed. She was a smart woman. That drastically reduced the level of complication in doing the swap.

  7. Robb Allen Says:

    My oldest is a heavy sleeper. I could pick her up, toss her over my shoulder, grab the tooth an replace it with a roll of loose quarters in a paper bag and she’d probably never even stir.

    My youngest? Not so much. Going to be trickier with her.

  8. Ellen Says:

    Why, when I was a child I was lucky to get a dime! Children today don’t realize how good they have it.

    (There has been inflation. My, how dimes have changed.)

  9. Bram Says:

    My kids get a $1 coin – which can be hard to find. Sometimes the Post Office stamp machines will give chnage for large bills in $1 coins.

  10. Daniels Says:

    Wow – $5?

    That’s inflation for you I guess… we only got a quarter when I was a kid!

  11. phred Says:

    My kids have tooth pillows. They’re about 5″ by 6″ with a small pouch for the tooth. The best part is that they have a fabric loop attached. The loop goes on the doorknob and the tooth fairy doesn’t event have to enter the room.

  12. Mr Evilwrench Says:

    I was giving mine shiny Sacagaweas for his. Kind of a loss if you want to keep them. Parents can be such assholes. Never had trouble sneaking them in on him, hehe.

  13. Standard Mischief Says:

    If you’re willing to buy $250 worth, you can get the mint to send you dollar coins for free, with free shipping, charged to your credit card. The only shortcoming is that you are not allowed to just go deposit them back into the bank.

  14. Jennifer Says:

    I got busted. Now we joke about that no-good tooth fairy.

  15. Standard Mischief Says:

    Daniels Says:

    Wow – $5?

    That’s inflation for you I guess… we only got a quarter when I was a kid!

    A silver Quarter from 1932-1964 is worth about $5.30 in fiat nowadays.

  16. Paul Says:

    @Ellen,
    “Why, when I was a child I was lucky to get a dime!”

    Don’t look now, but those pre-1965 dimes are worth $2+ now, due to their silver content.

  17. Lance R. Peak Says:

    With my youngest, I would make her put her tooth under the pillow for several nights in a row.

    When she asked why the tooth fairy hadn’t come, I would tell her that I had emailed the TF the information but she was backlogged and had to fit it into her schedule.

    So after a week or so, she wouldn’t be expecting the TF anymore which made it a heck of a lot easier to sneak in there and pull off the switch.

  18. Groundhog Says:

    Man, I heard inflation might go hyper…

  19. Skip Says:

    $5 bucks??
    I’m in the dollar coin group. Sometimes I pull them out of little ears. Gotta stack of ’em right here for the next ear that walks by.

  20. Bugei Says:

    Back in the 80s, I bought a couple of rolls of Morgan silver dollars, mostly from the 1880s. Not in collectible condition, so they call it “bag silver”. You know, a big, fat silver dollar under the pillow is a great replacement for a tooth. (There can be problems, though, if your kid loses a tooth on vacation, when you’re away from your stash.)

    Even the Morgans are probably more than $5 now.

  21. Robert Says:

    “If you’re willing to buy $250 worth, you can get the mint to send you dollar coins for free, with free shipping, charged to your credit card. The only shortcoming is that you are not allowed to just go deposit them back into the bank.”

    That’s because people were gaming the system, and ordering them on credit cards that gave free miles or other things, and then using the coins to immediately pay the credit card bill before they got charged interest. And doing it repeatedly. Some people got hundreds of thousands of miles and upgrades, if I remember correctly.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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