Tactical Sammich
Next time I tell someone to get in the kitchen and make me a sammich, it’s pre-made:
From the folks at CMMG.
15 Responses to “Tactical Sammich”
Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.
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May 17th, 2011 at 11:23 am
I don’t eat pre made tactical sammiches unless they come with foregrips, optics, back up optics, back up sights, back up canted sights, and laser range finders. Feh. That’s no tactical sammich. It should at least come in two packs, because two is one and one is none.
May 17th, 2011 at 11:23 am
Good BOB food, but at only 300 calories, doesn’t cut it for a meal. Under high stress, you’d need to eat 4 of those just to keep going for a few hours.
May 17th, 2011 at 11:36 am
It needs tactical bacon.
May 17th, 2011 at 11:38 am
Jeff, it’s from CMMG. They don’t give you all that stuff. They just provide the tactcial mount points for all those tactical goodies so you can be tactically equipped like a high speed, low drag operator, hua.
In this case, you mount your tactical mustard, laser cut lettuce, precision tomato, and whatnot to the Battle Ready Extended Accessory Devices.
May 17th, 2011 at 11:40 am
That’s what the SEALs snaked on while they dragged out the Bin Laden body bag!
BTW what’s the Muzzle Velocity and the Drag coefficient on that Sammich?
May 17th, 2011 at 12:14 pm
CMMG is great. First they produce tactical breakfast, now tactical lunch. Can’t wait to see what tactical supper looks like…
May 17th, 2011 at 1:24 pm
Just a note: there’s no way to be tactical with spaghetti. Or peas. Or any other “many discrete parts yet not conducive to eating with a spoon” food. Based on extensive experience with many presented foods at the Lackland AFB trainee dining facilities, these kinds of foods require too much manipulation to provide the rapid consumption of high energy comestibles needed in tactical situations. To sum up:
Spaghetti: NOT TACTICAL
Chili Macaroni: TACTICAL
Hamburger: TACTICAL
Big carrots: TACTICAL
Baby carrots: NOT TACTICAL
Steak: Regrettably NOT TACTICAL
Steak strips wrapped in burrito: TACTICAL
Salad: NOT TACTICAL
Baked potato: NOT TACTICAL
Mashed potato: TACTICAL
Pizza: TACTICAL
Vegetarian pizza: NOT TACTICAL, POSSIBLY COMMUNIST
Tofu: COMMUNIST
May 17th, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Boy, CMMG can sure slap a tactical label on an item and tactically up the price!
May 17th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
BTW, here’s the non tactical bacon, just in case you want to print your own gag gift labels or actually want to buy it by the case
May 17th, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Steak may not be Tactical, but beef jerky is hella tactical!
May 17th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
@Weer’d Beard…wait, is this the meal the Navy Seals that killed Bin Laden ate? I can add this to my HK 416, Sig P226( Navy Edition, of course), and Emerson Commander! I am the ultimate high score hero! .338 Lapua for everyone!!!
May 17th, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Wow, a sammich with a detachable high capacity assault magazine clip, pistol grip, bayonet lug, flash suppressor, holographic sight and a shoulder thing that goes up! Yum!
May 17th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
“Steak may not be Tactical, but beef jerky is hella tactical!”
You’re not thinking tactically: cut up the steak, put it in a tortilla=tactical.
May 17th, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Tirno, like all good tactical sammich operators, I need my stuff pre-made. All tactical fixings should be included.
May 17th, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Tirno, I appreciate your research on these items, and have some idea of the price one pays for such experimentation. Please thank your digestive tract, or what remains of it, for its Service To Our Nation.