Unsolicited advice to stupid people
If you’re using the office coffee station, do not stir your coffee with the same spoon used to get the sugar out of the sugar dish. And if you do, don’t put it back in the sugar dish.
9 Responses to “Unsolicited advice to stupid people”
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November 21st, 2011 at 11:34 am
Also you should not use it to scratch your balls with then stir the coffee pot so everyone gets a taste….
November 21st, 2011 at 11:54 am
I once dressed down a coworker when I caught him in the breakroom putting hot water in the coffeepot before brewing the coffee. He was doing it because the coffee was “too strong” otherwise. I told him that if the coffee was too strong for him that he needed to dilute his own damn cup and leave my f*ing coffee alone.
Apparently, I’m not very nice before I’ve had my morning cup. I’d been bitching for weeks about the weak office coffee before I walked in on this guy. I may or may not have called him several unflattering things to his face that morning.
Given my usual lack of filter, you can probably guess how that went down.
November 21st, 2011 at 12:38 pm
One of the many reasons that I take my coffee black. Also thankful that my(usually very cheap) employer elects to provide Keurig single serve machines in our break areas. Not many ways for a co-worker to screw it up – either benignly or otherwise.
November 21st, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Back in 2002, at the height of the anthrax scare, our coffee room (which served >400 people 24/7) was actually shut down for several minutes one morning by a person concerned that the white powder on the floor might be deadly. This powder, which looked like coffee sweetener, was found on the floor immediately in front of the counter where the sweetener sat in a large “shake it out yourself” container. Security carefully took a wet paper towel and removed powder, then re-opened the coffee room. That person was fired less than a month later, almost certainly for being such a tool.
November 21st, 2011 at 12:59 pm
I have never understood that. Why use a spoon at all? Just put the sugar in first, then pour the coffee on top. Self stirring. No waste.
But then, I could be crazy.
November 21st, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Mr. That Guy, efficiency is what it’s all about – right on, let the turbulence of the pour mix the components. This is an indication of intelligence and independent thinking.
Do you suppose it would be a catastrophe if someone put the 3 items, coffee, creamer, sweetner out there with absolutely no device (sticks, stirers, spoons) to mix it? Would the idiots stand in line complaining? Maybe it would be an interesting study for freshman psychology or something; maybe even graduate level federal grant, peer reviewed and published in the professional literature.
November 21st, 2011 at 7:26 pm
I hope this wasn’t at the home office….
November 21st, 2011 at 9:31 pm
Uncle; Since you’re giving advice to stupid people, you’ll have to explain it, otherwise they won’t know why the hell you have a problem. Then again, they won’t be reading your blog, so never mind.
That Guy; Exactly. And with liquid cream you have to put in after being handed your coffee at the drive-through, you just blow on the coffee to stir it top to bottom. McD’s answer was to start putting the goodies in the coffee for you.
“Would the idiots stand in line complaining?” Yes. Sort of. They’ll look around for a while, then look to see if anyone is looking, then look around for someone to ask about it, wondering of they really want sugar all that bad anyway. There are people who are very good at certain things, yet cannot think for themselves. Further; there are a lot of bosses, teachers, et al who discourage their underlings from thinking for themselves. It’s a form of self protection you understand.
November 22nd, 2011 at 2:30 am
You got a job again?