Adventures in driving
If you drive, then every day you probably see someone do something stupid. It’s so common that it hardly warrants a mention until you see someone do something really stupid. Like I did last week.
A woman was in front of me in her Japanese SUV at one of those 3 minute car washes. For those who may not know, there’s a system of rollers on a track and you pull up onto the track, put your car in neutral and it pulls you on through. I say that because some may not know that. Well, this woman just started to drive through. The attendant flagged her and showed her the big sign of instructions saying put it in neutral. She waves as though she gets it and stops moving. Then I watch in amazement as the rollers pass under her car and it bobs up and down as the rollers pass under the wheel. She either had the brake on or had it in park. The attendant explains again. She doesn’t get it. And again. I finally decide it’s too hysterical and that I’m going to video it. And as I did grab my phone, she finally figured it out. So, no video for you.
Now, I’m next. And the nice attendant waves me up. I tell the attendant that, having seen this woman’s leet driving skills, I’ll wait for her to get further along before I go. Three minute car wash, I figure one minute will do it.
I enter. As I get toward the end, she’s at the end under the blower thing. Not moving. Not realizing now is when you move the N to the D. I lightly honk the horn as if to say wake up, sparky. Nothing. Again, I beep. Still nothing. Finally, I’m getting close enough that I’m going to hit her. I lean on the horn. I have to hit my brakes. So, now I’m sitting there with the rollers passing under me like I should be on the Miami strip, bouncing my ride. The attendant heard the honk and shut the wash down.
She, then, peals out of there so fast that she left skid marks and drove right past the vacuum station. I guess she was fleeing embarrassment. As the attendant and I sat there talking about her and laughing, she pulled up and used the vacuum like nothing happened.
March 7th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Now, now, people have been robbed at car washes.
She looks in the rear view and there’s a guy hopping his car and honking at her, straight lo-rider gangster style?
Of course she runs. 🙂
March 7th, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Whats scary is it was harder for her to be allowed to drive than to reproduce.
March 7th, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Directions in English… it’s what’s for dinner!
March 7th, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Mandatory “AND SHE VOTES” comment…engage.
March 7th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Here in central Texas No-Touch car washes are the norm, wherein one drives into the wash bay without any guide other than a green/red GO/STOP signal. A robotic arm maneuvers around the vehicle spritzing soap, spraying high pressure water, and fogging clear coat wax. I have been told that these became popular when attorneys began suing the car washes for damage to cars from the conveyor belts and the rotating fabric brushes.
Thanks for explaining to me how the latter type of car washes can damage a vehicle.
March 7th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
maybe the muzzies have it right after all?
she sounds like a normal kalistan suv-ho…
if you live near a school take the time to watch these braindead putas as they drop off little rufus and maria at the states 8 hr free daycare…
March 7th, 2012 at 7:53 pm
I OWN a touchless car wash. The level of competence in people frightens me….
THese people have caused hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage over the past 15 years, both the their vehicles and to the equipment and building.
There are people who drive who have the cognitive ability of a head of broccoli.
And, of course, they vote.
March 7th, 2012 at 8:40 pm
i say a gal belting down the interstate looking in the rear view mirror and applying eye makeup. i drifted way to the rear in case things went pear shaped.
March 8th, 2012 at 12:16 am
In the old days, people like this would have been eaten by bears or something before they damaged the rest of society too much.
March 8th, 2012 at 2:39 am
See, this is one of the reasons why I never get laid. My Mom was a very sensible woman, more so than my Dad was a sensible man.
She managed all the family finances, which went to hell when she died. Judging from her high school yearbook photo, she was also quite a babe.
I have read that guys tend to seek out gals who resemble their mothers, and who look like their mothers did when the guys were infants.
Most women I meet these days are either very disappointing, or happily married to somebody else.
March 8th, 2012 at 10:23 am
Hide yer finer wimmenfolk from Justthisguy, he’s out a-shoppin’ fer a good time, usin’ high standards!
I suggest he loiter at the car wash, and use a female’s ability to drive through it properly as a first filter for the search.
March 8th, 2012 at 10:24 am
Just to be fair, a woman could do worse than use the same criteria to pick a guy. I’ve seen plenty of bad male drivers.
March 8th, 2012 at 11:18 pm
Kalifornia plates?
March 8th, 2012 at 11:23 pm
Was she asian? (I can say that cuz I’m asian also :p)