Why do you carry a gun?
Local radio guy Dave Foulk answers the question the same way Tom Givens does: to shoot people.
My answer is usually: because I can.
13 Responses to “Why do you carry a gun?”
Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.
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June 1st, 2012 at 10:29 am
Tom and Dave, soon to be on your morning drive-time. Across the south.
June 1st, 2012 at 10:32 am
I sometimes say, “To make violent criminals stop attacking innocent people. If the criminals die in the process, that’s simply a secondary effect.”
June 1st, 2012 at 10:44 am
Because I can. Not because I may. FTG. That’s how my father taught me. By example.
Carried a rifle when I was nine. Pistol at fifteen.
June 1st, 2012 at 10:45 am
Lee-Enfield.
June 1st, 2012 at 10:54 am
Because guns are good things to have around, and the data backs up my feelings.
Oh and because anti-gun people are evil liars, so making them unhappy just by going about my daily activities makes GREAT sense.
June 1st, 2012 at 11:17 am
I do not carry a gun, because…
…I want to kill people. I carry a gun to keep from being killed.
…I want to scare people. I carry a gun, because sometimes the world is a scary place.
…I am paranoid. I carry a gun, because there are real threats in the world.
…I am evil. I carry a gun, because I have lived long enough to see evil.
…I hate the government. I carry a gun, because I understand the limitations of government.
…I am angry. I carry a gun so that I do not have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for being unprepared.
…I want to shoot someone. I carry a gun, because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, not on a sidewalk.
…I am a cowboy. I carry a gun, because, when I die and go to Heaven, I want to be a cowboy.
…I want to feel like a man. I carry a gun, because real men know how to take care of themselves and their loved-ones.
…I feel inadequate. I carry a gun; because, unarmed against thugs, I am inadequate.
…I love it. I carry a gun, because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.
June 1st, 2012 at 11:29 am
I’ve developed a whole new spiel since I’ve acquired this (hopefully temporary) partially-paralyzed leg: “Can’t run, taekwando is out of the question; too young to die and too old to take an ass-kicking.”
June 1st, 2012 at 1:00 pm
Because fuck you, that’s why.
June 1st, 2012 at 2:52 pm
“None of your damn business.”
June 1st, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Overheard from a long departed old friend:
“I carry a sidearm because, as a man, I have a moral obligation. I’m obliged to be ready to deal with trouble, just as soon as trouble rears its ugly head.”
Good words, from a man with a lot of good sense.
@ StanInTexas: Well spoken, sir.
Thank you.
June 1st, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Kristopher, that’s pretty much my standard answer to Her Ex-ness.
June 1st, 2012 at 9:13 pm
Because a policeman doesn’t fit in my pocket.
Heard it so many times figured it was worth repeating,
But wear a seatbelt because you might crash, carry a gun because you may have to shoot someone.
June 2nd, 2012 at 1:58 am
StanInTexas wins!