Not much to say
Instead, I’m contacting the pressure cooker lobby so I don’t need a background check to make my assault baked beans.
Instead, I’m contacting the pressure cooker lobby so I don’t need a background check to make my assault baked beans.
Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.
Uncle Pays the Bills
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April 16th, 2013 at 10:31 pm
Everyone knows preppers and survivalists are can. It’s a vast left wing conspiracy to make canning a suspicious activity, engender fear in the hearts of the unlearned about our tools of mass preservation. Canning lids will have micro stamped serial numbers and pressure cookers will be registered under a 1600 page bill passed in secret by Harry Reed and Nancy Pelosi, and signed in a deep dark dungeon, under a golf course by his eminence, FU O’bummer. Who is secretly of the Black Irish, by way of Kenya.
😉
April 16th, 2013 at 10:43 pm
If black powder was used then any high school chemistry lab could have made it with the appropriate amount of choral, salt peter, and sulphur (I think it is sulphur).
I guess a background check to go to high school chemistry will be needed.
April 16th, 2013 at 10:50 pm
But if it saves just one life for the children… snark… ban pressure cookers. They killed two adults and an 8 year old child.
DWH
April 17th, 2013 at 6:30 am
Now, wildriver, nobody is coming to take your pressure cooker. But we do need some common sense regulation. We’ll start with requiring serial numbers on the frame and lid. We NEED to register them because this will somehow magically prevent them falling into the wrong hands. Of course, anyone who wants an automatic relief valve will need to get a full FBI background check and an appropriate $200 tax stamp to be carried with the pressure cooker any time. You will need to notify the Dept of Dangerous Cookery in writing, when it’s being transported to a church social in another state. Also, we’re going to have to have a ‘conversation’ about realistic capacity limits. There’s no reason that anyone but an authorized gov’t agent working in an official capacity needs a pressure cooker over 10 pints (7 in New York).
April 17th, 2013 at 8:25 am
Assault baked beans don’t kill people, the resulting gas attack kills people.
April 17th, 2013 at 9:26 am
Pressure cooker beans are an assault on someone.
Sooner or later.
April 17th, 2013 at 9:56 am
Baking soda in the soak water, guys. Does for bean volatility what DuPont did for gunpowder. Now, call me a buzzkill.
April 17th, 2013 at 10:49 am
My assault baked beans are lethal at 40 paces. They shoot right through everyone, including schoolchildren.
April 17th, 2013 at 11:06 am
Well, I just broke out my Pressure Cooker, and I should be safe, since it doesn’t have a Bayonet Mount, Muzzle Compensator nor a Shoulder Thing that goes Up.
Heck, it’s not even painted Black!
April 17th, 2013 at 11:51 am
How did they put it in a back pack? When I think pressure cooker they look like this:
http://www.allamericancanner.com
(Yes, I know they make smaller ones, but why?)
Even a small pressure cooker would make a backpack look funny.
April 17th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
Nobody really needs anything larger than a 4 quart cooker anyway, right? *
*unless following the USDA guidelines or any of the various state extension services
phenicks, you are missing the difference between a pressure cooker and a pressure canner. Cookers are not for canning, are used to speed up making couscous and beans and other dishes, and are usually 2-8 quarts in capacity. Ever simmer dried beans in an open pan for hours and find them still too hard to eat?
April 17th, 2013 at 2:41 pm
Assault baked beans.
Would that be assault with a silent, but deadly weapon?
April 17th, 2013 at 9:19 pm
@DevsAdvocate: I swear, it was the dog!
April 18th, 2013 at 10:14 am
Assault Pressure Cooker pic.
http://i.imgur.com/jWtCsSm.jpg
source unknown