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Negligent Discharge

So, this weekend, I was operating operationally in operations. Being the operatingest, I was rapidly engaging targets with extreme prejudice. All rounds were placed with the precision of a surgeon working on the ocular nerve. I think I even sliced a pie or two.

As I was standing there, in solace, surveying the carnage I had laid upon my foe and checking my surroundings before reholstering, I heard it. A loud pop. Then, the realization that I had negligently discharged a round into the ground. The red curtained my eyes, only not the red curtain of death more like the red curtain of Man, I feel like a bag of dicks. As I calmed, realizing nothing and no one was harmed, I was angry at myself. All that training and practice. And I still negligently discharged a gun. Fortunately, I had only violated one of the four rules. I had my booger-hook on the bang-switch. I did have the gun pointed in a safe direction, at the ground. No blood, no foul.

The point is, it’s a good idea to apply gun safety rules to nail guns when re-screening your porch.

And pressure washers. And hammer drills.

12 Responses to “Negligent Discharge”

  1. CaptDMO Says:

    AND HVLP paint sprayer guns.
    You’re probably safe from spray foam insulation guns, unless you do it for a living.

  2. Cargosquid Says:

    Well done, Uncle.

  3. Tim Says:

    Do they not have the safety catch that prevents them from firing unless they are pressed up against something?

  4. SayUncle Says:

    It was the stapler/nailer. No such catch.

  5. James Says:

    Great post indeed. You had me going.

  6. Skip Says:

    Ramsets are fun against a chain link fence.
    Seagulls beware.

  7. Lyle Says:

    Excellent.

  8. mikee Says:

    And this is exactly why I only use the single-shot hand powered framing hammer, as a curio and relic aficionado, with individual hand-held nails. One swing of the hammer, hitting one nail, one time per swing!

    Nobody NEEDS more than that!

    You assault nailgun operators are making ALL of us Do-It-Yourselfers and Honey-Do-Listers and Weekend-Fixers look like murderous crazies with your high powered assault nail weapons of mass fixation!

  9. MJM Says:

    Thanks for posting this. You might save someone’s life. Or foot. Or leg.

  10. MJM Says:

    I should add, I have seen two cases where workers using nail guns brushed the air-powered nail gun across the knee a bit to hard and–BAM! Nail in the kneecap.

  11. Standard Mischief Says:

    >Do they not have the safety catch that prevents them from firing unless they are pressed up against something?

    They may indeed have a mechanical safety that can fail. Most of them do.

    While doing some floor repair, I saw someone toss down a spinning circular saw. The guard did not close and cover the blade in time and the saw blade dug into the floor, kicked back, jumped up and bit two of his fingers.

    I won’t say that he’s my friend, but I did drive him to the hospital.

    To this day I’m sure he blames a malfunctioning safety for the accident, and not his careless misuse of power tools.

  12. Crawler Says:

    Unc, it could have been worse, much worse.

    Imagine the destruction and carnage you could have unleashed on yourself, your porch project and possibly others if you had been using a Class III stapler/nailer loaded with hollow point nails.

    Scary indeed…

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

Uncle Pays the Bills

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