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In which I, your humble correspondent, update the AP styleguide

Unarmed = 6’4″ 300 pound dude capable of cracking your skull

Teen = Man

Protests = Riot

Organizing = Looting

Locals = bused in from out of town

Shoplifted = strong arm robbery

KKK involved = No, they’re not but race hustlers like the Rearend Jesse Jackass and Al Sharpton are.

That about sum up Ferguson?

15 Responses to “In which I, your humble correspondent, update the AP styleguide”

  1. Hartley Says:

    Yes, next question?

  2. MAJMike Says:

    “1984” was supposed to be fiction, not a users’ manual.

  3. Ellen Says:

    *Sigh*. In my youth, I thought Adam Clayton Powell was pretty bad. Then we got Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.

  4. Stretch Says:

    Adam Clayton Powell mixed his bourbon with MILK!
    That right there makes him as bad as either Reverend.

  5. Lyle Says:

    That about covers it. Good reasoning.

  6. John Says:

    My favorite one from yesterday was:

    Allegedly suffered a black eye during scuffle = A reported orbital blowout fracture during severe beating.

    The narrative deteriorated quickly, didn’t it?

  7. mikee Says:

    When ghettos start policing their own neighborhoods, ghetto problems will end.

    My suburban, mixed race, affluent neighborhood does not see police cars very often. But we also yell at each others’ kids when we see them doing stupid things, and have polite conversations about whose dog is making a mess in the neighborhood.

    Every neighborhood I have ever lived in policed itself harder, more strictly, than the police could have done.

  8. Jeff from DC Says:

    Yeah, but still. Boom. Defeat that arguement

  9. Someone You KNow Says:

    Dear Uncle,

    I would like to add:

    ‘World Renowned’ private medical investigator =

    “But some coroners and medical examiners in Missouri say Parcells has inflated his qualifications and performed autopsies without a medical license. Others allege that doctors whose signatures were on some autopsy reports were not present at the autopsies, did not review the work or never actually signed the documents. Meanwhile, Parcells’ online work profile is filled with inaccurate information.” (May 5th, 2013)

    Link:
    St. Louis Today – Missouri coroners question practices of forensics company operator
    http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/metro/missouri-coroners-question-practices-of-forensics-company-operator/article_0662e5b1-dcfa-578f-9487-8ab6a176ea4d.html

  10. Old NFO Says:

    Yep, pretty much dead on…

  11. Windy Wilson Says:

    The deceased Choirboy’s height and weight are two facts that I have not heard disputed by anyone in this media-manufactured exercise in unidirectional racial violence.

  12. inbred hick Says:

    where are the libertarians? = Why didn’t a bunch of inbred hicks with guns come into town and join the looting?

  13. Crawler Says:

    I still wonder why the federal government sent hundreds of heavily armed personnel to Nevada to strong arm a rancher and his cows, but when a suburb in St. Louis burns, and rioters, pilferers and looters run freely and amok, there’s not one heavily armed G-man to be found.

    Just why did the federal government purchase a zillion rounds of ammunition anyway? To police ranchers? Or maybe, to police opposing political party blocs?

  14. JTC Says:

    I have still to this day not seen one single MSM report of the size (6’4″/300lb), reputation (thug), nickname (Big Mike) of this “unarmed black teenager”, and not one single detailed mention of the injuries to the cop. One-sided partisan racewar-mongering blood-dancing self-serving insult to the word journalism? What makes you say that?

  15. Mr Evilwrench Says:

    He said “rearend”, heh heh heh.

    Pretty spot on, really. I am ashamed of my species.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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