WHY MOST GUN PEOPLE CANNOT WRITE HORROR MOVIES.
23 Responses to “WHY MOST GUN PEOPLE CANNOT WRITE HORROR MOVIES.”
Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.
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October 29th, 2014 at 1:00 pm
Yeah, sure, joke about how easy it is to shoot psychotic knife wielding maniacs, innocent fishies in the sea, household pets or even recently revived corpses.
What use is your gun when the VAMPIRES come to get you?
And unless your bullets are tipped with silver, the WEREWOLVES are gonna be a problem, too.
I’m not sure, but I don’t recall anyone ever trying to shoot FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER, either, so I’m a bit worried about firearm utility when faced with those sorts of home-made humans, too.
October 29th, 2014 at 1:11 pm
However, just to play along:
“ET Phone Home!”
Bang.
October 29th, 2014 at 1:49 pm
mikee,
Physics is physics and none of those monsters are bullet *proof*, just heal quick. Dump enough lead in their face, or hit them with a car, and they will at least be distracted. After that, nothing is happier with its head cut off.
October 29th, 2014 at 3:40 pm
The Headless Horseman.
October 29th, 2014 at 3:42 pm
I think Larry Correia has pretty much established that bullets don’t stop Frankenstein’s monster.
October 29th, 2014 at 4:41 pm
I couldn’t come up with any more myself. I quit watching horror movies because, in my mind, they turned into slapstick comedy long ago.
Possessed girl truning her head around 360 degrees, making animal sounds and vomiting green goo. Puss oozing out of many boils on her skin and she levitates off of her bed;
Me; “That’s a neat trick and all, but Girl, you’re really messed up. I’ve seen plenty of messed-up people. What’s your point?”
Politicians are vastly more dangerous than any horror movie bad guy(s). Maybe we should have the movie; “Night of the Living Politicians” or “Politicians – the Living Dead”. Subtitle; “Too Late; They HAVE Eaten our Brains”.
October 29th, 2014 at 4:53 pm
Hell, the brainless Zombies are already among us. They’re better known as… LIBERALS! And they aint seeking brains,(though lord knows they need some)they’re seeking handouts.
October 29th, 2014 at 8:40 pm
The “what if a gun guy wrote it?” poat was excellent!
October 30th, 2014 at 12:06 am
http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1275.html
Guns vs Zombies……
October 30th, 2014 at 12:09 am
Was just thinking about how it is supposedly hard to kill supernatural beings like vampires and werewolves.
Both legends started prior to the invention of modern arms. Of COURSE its hard to kill them when all you have is a musket or a sword.
But, put enough firepower downrange, they will literally fly apart into pieces.
Of course, that is assuming that the vampire is not Saberhagen’s version of Dracula where the bullets pass right through him…..
October 30th, 2014 at 5:23 am
Larry Correia seems to make hay in this field.
Like to see him get a movie or TV deal out of it.
MHI would make a great procedural.
October 30th, 2014 at 9:12 am
+100 Kevin!
IF they keep to the books. ANY of his books.
Monster Hunter or Grimnoir
October 30th, 2014 at 11:20 am
Agreed completely in re Larry Correia. (His response, as a gun guy, is to ask: “what kind of monster attacks would STILL be challenging if you’re armed to the teeth?” Fun stuff!)
And, not to do spoilers or anything, but he has a GREAT answer to the “what happens if you shoot Frankenstein’s monster” question…
October 30th, 2014 at 12:00 pm
Similar reason that gun folks couldn’t do TV crime shows where the victims are unarmed and only the LEO’s and criminals are armed…to propagandize the masses to think that’s how life should be.
October 30th, 2014 at 12:30 pm
Daniel…have you read his latest.
Agent Franks is the star.
Ron….
Of course the victims are unarmed. All the cop shows take place in BLUE cities, like New York.
I mentioned to my daughter that one victim on CASTLE had to go to a known criminal to buy a gun for protection because its almost impossible for a law abiding citizen to get a gun quickly for protection.
She looked me straight in the eye, and said with all the scorn and disdain that a 14 year old girl can muster, and said, “THAT is SOOOO Stupid.”
I’m sooo proud…..
October 30th, 2014 at 1:41 pm
Jake,
One, the Headless Horseman is hardly happy. Two, he’s the exception that proves the rule, like the Blob or the Thing, in that he doesn’t have a head to sever.
🙂
October 30th, 2014 at 1:42 pm
From xkcd: Outbreak
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/outbreak.png
October 30th, 2014 at 2:06 pm
Cargosquid, they know it’s “sooo stupid” which is why they don’t do it themselves, but impose it on others. It’s soooo evil and soooo criminal and tyrannical!
October 30th, 2014 at 3:19 pm
Ron,
Exactly… I’m just glad that my daughter realizes it at the age of 14. I love living in Virginia. Such a….free environment.
October 30th, 2014 at 9:28 pm
I’m pretty sure a Hydra would be happy if you cut it’s head off
October 30th, 2014 at 9:29 pm
Virginia is getting all the O’Malley run off. I had planned on moving there until the Governor election. Went with WVa instead. Still better than Maryland
October 30th, 2014 at 11:08 pm
Jeff, don’t let the politics fool you. The state, at its core, is still conservative.
October 31st, 2014 at 2:04 pm
Cargosquid: Yes, I’ve read Monster Hunter Nemesis. My 14-year-old girl has an autographed copy. (Mr. Correia was a true gentleman about it — I asked for it to be autographed to her, by name, AND asked for a cartoon of a girl riding a monster, holding a gun and shouting war whoops. He did it all.)
Have I mentioned that my 14-year-old girl is a better shot than I am? Consider that an excuse to go to the range more often…