On culture
Recently, I went to a receiving of friends for an acquaintance. At the service, they had a slideshow of pictures of the recently departed, which is pretty typical at this particular funeral home. However, toward the end of said slideshow, there were pictures of family members that were obviously taking “selfies” with the soon to be departed. It struck me as poor taste. The notion of two children posing with their soon to be dead mother using all of the same techniques you see on facebook each day for taking a selfie was unsettling.
September 20th, 2016 at 8:19 pm
In my view, this is part of the “me, me, me” culture that I think we’re experiencing more and more of. When people insert themselves into stories, pictures, etc., it certainly seems it’s more about getting themselves attention than anything else.
September 20th, 2016 at 10:47 pm
Back in the olden days (uncle doesn’t care about the olden days)the only photo of family members would be taken when they were dead. Most could not afford it so it was a memorial thing.
September 21st, 2016 at 10:58 am
In the mid 1990s I got in trouble for photographing, suddenly and without warning, my wife’s entire family around her Dad, who was lying in a hospital bed after heart bypass surgery. Sister-in-law threw a fit about inappropriateness, mother-in-law threw a fit about a picture where her hair wasn’t done up, brother-in-law wasn’t happy that the picture showed him watching TV in the hospital room instead of paying attention to good old Dad, who was sitting up smiling at me and the camera exactly like a man who knew he’d just cheated Death in a high-stakes game. The old guy lasted another 20 years.
I still recall that when my wife and I, with our 4 year old son, first walked into the hospital room, where his granddad was lying asleep, the kid boomed out, “Is he DEAD?” Upon which, granddad groggily opened one eye, fixed his favorite grandkid with a steely gaze, and replied sonorously, “Not yet.”
September 21st, 2016 at 10:58 am
Unc, this is a sign that “we are getting old”. Yeah, selfies seem crass to me but I’m an old fuck (42 is “old” now).
Maybe we need to look at it through the eyes of those kids. Their world is consumed with social media and ‘the selfie’ is the ultimate expression of approval. You don’t take a selfie with someone you don’t like. You take a selfie to brag about how awesome it is to be with someone. Mom was awesome enough for that privilege.
Point being, these kids perhaps expressed their devotion to their mother the way they know best. They stood up and told the world they are united with their mother. She was worth ‘the selfie’.
If I was on my deathbed tomorrow would I look beyond the means and focus on the intent? Would I smile if the kids wanted a few last parting shots of us together?
Probably not. Even if I am raising mine to not be a part of the selfie culture.
September 21st, 2016 at 11:01 am
OK, I meant I wouldn’t be disappointed if the kids wanted a parting shot with Dear Ole Dad. I’d smile not for the camera, but because they thought I was worth the effort.
And for the record, you need an edit feature on this blog. Thanks for hosting us all the same.
September 21st, 2016 at 12:20 pm
When my mother passed in the South, she wanted a closed casket funeral. However, after her body was prepped before the final closing of the casket before services, my relatives wanted a picture of all of us standing before my mother’s open casket with her body in plain view. This seems to be a Southern Thing ™ (c).
September 21st, 2016 at 3:55 pm
Just remember , they get to vote also .