It’s a gas, gas, gas
This morning, bright and early, I had a routine dental appointment, cleaning and stuff. This was my first appointment with my new dentist (we had to switch due to insurance). The dentist makes new patients fill out a questionnaire. This questionnaire is designed to save your life, or at least let the dentist know who to call in the event he fails to save your life. Those pesky dental emergencies.
The questions consist of do you have this disease? And things like that. One question was Do you use tobacco? I checked Yup. Another was Do you use alcohol or other drugs? I checked Yup.
I get to the hygienist and she asks Do you dip or smoke? I say I smoke, it’s so delicious and satisfying. I then decide to volunteer some information and say Oh, and I do crack not alcohol, in case you’re gonna ask. She laughed.
She asks me about dental problems and if I have issues she needs to know about. I tell her that I hate the scraping feeling when they take the metal pick and grind my teeth. She asks me if I want the gas to relax.
Score!
I haven’t had the gas since I was about 12. I remember then the dentist saying Count back from 100 and after it was over I’d only remember saying 98. Now, with my increased tolerance to drugs due to my crack use (the hygienist’s joke, not mine), I remained aware. The gas is a gas. At first, I was almost completely asleep. Then, I woke up and was wide awake. Then asleep. Etc. When I was wide awake, I asked if she turned it off. She hadn’t. Later, she turns it off and the oxygen on and in 2 minutes I’m back to normal and ready to drive.
Good times.
November 18th, 2003 at 3:28 pm
Nitrous Oxide is the only redeeming part of a dental visit. If they’re drilling, they’re giving me nitrous.
And I don’t ever remember nitrous putting me out. That’s general anesthetic, and that’s something entirely different. They did that, via an IV, when I had my wisdom teeth out.
November 19th, 2003 at 10:20 am
I’ve had NO2 twice at the dentist – the first time was when my son was still a baby, and during the procedure I felt the most intense feeling of peace and love (sorry, sounds cliche but it was there) toward my wife and son it’s still difficult to put into words. I don’t know if I fell asleep and dreamed it – I don’t think I ever lost consciousness – but apparently the euphoria of the gas gave me almost a religious experience of brief, intense joy.
The second time I went back for another procedure I was hoping I would experience it again, but this time it just made me dizzy – oh well, probably for the best. If it had happened again, I’d probably be addicted to it now.
But for that moment, it was a brief tase of heaven…
November 19th, 2003 at 12:18 pm
Barry:
The right mix is important. The wrong mix will give you dizziness and/or a headache. The right mix will give you at least the giggles (it’s why they call it “laughing gas”) if not the euphoric feeling. Essentially, the effect of the gas is to amplify the positive aspects of your mood while downplaying the negative aspects.
November 20th, 2003 at 9:25 am
Right, they turned down the mix a bit and I was fine but there was no replay of the earlier event..*sigh*
December 20th, 2003 at 3:34 am
Reminds me of a woman I used to hang out with, who described heself as a “nitrous slut.” She claimed to be immune to candy, but said that if a limousine pulled up and the darkly tinted window rolled down, and a voice from in there said “Hello little girl, would you like some N2O” she’d have hopped right in with him. And she a grown woman, and married, and all.
Some history: Crawford Long invented anesthesia because he couldn’t get nitrous oxide. Some of the “young men” in his little North Georgia town had heard about the fun to be had with nitrous, and came to him for help. He told them he had no way to make it or get it, but he did have some ether, which he’d heard made people equally silly. Well, he was a doctor, who better to administer the drug at the drug party? (they’d call it an “ether frolic” back then)
He duly administered the nasty poison and watched the “young men” stumbling, giggling and painlessly injuring themselves by bumping into furniture, the walls, and each other. ” Why don’t they say ouch?” he thought, and that’s when the proverbial yet-to-be-invented light bulb shone forth from above his head. As they say, the rest is history.
November 21st, 2005 at 11:55 am
[…] Yes, that’s a quote from me. You see, this morning I went to the dentist for a filling. I wonder if dentists think that they’re really smart or that their customers are really stupid. Or if they just like fucking with us. I lay there on the chair sucking down the gas (which I like) when here comes the dental assistant. She puts the topical anesthetic on, puts in a bite guard, and sticks gauze between my cheek and gum. In comes the dentist, with more tools and gizmos and they get to work […]
December 8th, 2006 at 11:37 am
[…] Went to the dentist this morning. Told you before how I get the gas ’cause my girly teeth are all sensitive. Anyhoo, had the MP3 player and it was kind of cool to listen to Five Minutes Alone and The Color of Money with a huge gas buzz. […]