Movie sales are low
Via Insty, Tammy Bruce laments that cultural issues account for the fact movie sales are at a 15 year low:
Americans will no longer go see movies which are nothing more than the manifestation of the backwash of malignant narcissists. We’re also sick and tired of listening to actors lecture us about how awful the US is, and more recently, why a cold-blooded mass murdering gang founder should have been given clemency.
My explanation is simpler. Three factors have attributed to poor movie sales:
1 – TiVo: I have it and love it. I now never watch commercials, ever. Other than when a movie creates a buzz in the news, I never know it’s out. Currently, the only movie I know of that is playing is Narnia and that’s because it has made the news for being Christian or anti-Christian (I can’t remember which).
2 – Alternative media outlets: DVDs, pay per view, and Al Gore’s Internets are much more convenient. I can get DVDs delivered to my house. I can push three buttons and get pay per views. I think Hollywood would increase their margins by just bypassing theaters altogether. You want me to watch? Then pump it into my house. I’d rather wait four months for pay per view than load up the car, find a sitter, shell out $16 for tickets, another $8 for refreshments, sit in a chair less comfortable than my couch, deal with the idiot who wants to yell at the movie, to watch a crappy movie. That brings us to 3.
3 – The movies suck. Hollywood is out of ideas. They remade The Dukes of Fucking Hazzard, for crying out loud. Nothing original, it’s all been done. They’re all remakes or novel adaptations. Do something interesting. Not only are they getting content from things already done, they’re re-doing some of it in the same format: at the movie (like King Kong*). Here’s an idea plucked fresh from my website: Find the most complex, attention getting conspiracy theory and make a movie out of it. Seriously, New World Order, black helicopters, John Titor, Scientology, pick one. Sure, they’re so far-fetched but, dammit, they’re entertaining. Is it sad that I’d rather read the ramblings of crazy people and scam artists than go to a damn movie.
Feh.
Update: *And the only reason I realized King Kong was out was because I checked email and it’s advertised on Yahoo.
December 14th, 2005 at 10:28 am
Illuminatus: The Movie, coming soon to a theater near you! Best of all, it’s a triology, and Hollywood loves sequels. You’re gonna be rich.
December 14th, 2005 at 10:32 am
As to #3 Arlington Road was a fantastic movie. So was Conspiracy Theory.
Wait till I write my tell all DC book/screenplay . . ..
December 14th, 2005 at 10:36 am
TiVo: I have it and love it.
Possibly one of the greatest inventions ever. BTW, new versions may not let you skipped commercials. Be interesting to see how that works out.
The movies suck. Hollywood is out of ideas.
That is the big reason. Someone might observe that Regal theaters is only investing 2.5 million out of 11 million in the Gay Street Theater. They know what the problem is. I doubt the Gay Street Theater will be open five years.
They remade The Dukes of Fucking Hazzard, for crying out loud.
If it wasn’t for Nick at Night there would not be any new Hollywood scripts.
Find the most complex, attention getting conspiracy theory and make a movie out of it. Seriously, New World Order, black helicopters, John Titor, Scientology, pick one.
I’m up for a John Titor movie. I can’t believe someone hasn’t jumped on that.
South Park covered Scientology a few weeks ago. They are so gonna get sued. A movie about L. Ron would be fascinating. Supposedly he was in to Black Magic long before he wrote Dianetics. Disclaimer, if you like Scientology that is fine, free country and all that. Don’t sue us. My guess is you will never see the L Ron story unless John Travolta or Tom Cruise produce it.
http://www.factnet.org/Scientology/dianetics.html
December 14th, 2005 at 10:41 am
$8 for refreshments? It HAS been a while, huh? =)
Some movies do look better on the big screen, but, for the reasons you mention, going to the movies can be a real pain. I usually wait a week, then do the first matinee on Sunday. Fewer a-holes.
December 14th, 2005 at 10:44 am
Rustmiester,
Last movie I saw at the theater was Bad Santa. Before that, it was The Hulk. So, yeah.
December 14th, 2005 at 11:07 am
I am with Rust. I never go opening weekend and avoid evening shows if I can. I find that a flask of bourbon helps to get you through it otherwise.
Couple of my friends go religiously to all the premieres when they come out…Narnia, Spiderman, LOTR all that shit.
December 14th, 2005 at 12:22 pm
I never go to movies, but I don’t have TiVo and I am against the death penalty, which only leaves the fact that most movies suck. They really do. On the rare occasions I do attend a movie, I end up feeling slimy and my faith in Americans takes a nosedive. It’s not like television is any better. Everybody loves Raymond? They don’t want crush his skull with a tire iron before he can deliver another line?
Of course, it does help explain why the federal government is composed primarily of politicians whose only skill is the ability to say the same shit over and over and seem like they mean it every time.
Do we really live in a free market economy if consumers uncritically consume whatever the ads tell them to consume?
December 14th, 2005 at 12:51 pm
Some things should be redone, because they can be done better (IE King kong, LOTR, Narnia, etc.)
What really sucks is when you go to a moive and you feel like you got screwed. Happened to me, my GF, and a couple of friends with “A history of violence”. When you come of of the moive complaining, it gives you a bad feeling. After awhile, you realized that it will be no different, and just stop going.
December 14th, 2005 at 4:43 pm
All the movies I’ve seen in the theater in the last two years (in reverse order of recency):
Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit (10/2005)
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Suck (5/2005)
The Incredibles (11/2004)
Spider-Man 2 (6/2004)
Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban (6/2004)
Shrek 2 (5/2004)
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (12/2003)
And these have been a somewhat busy two years for me. Normally, it’s only two or three per year.
December 14th, 2005 at 5:42 pm
Ravenwood on the 2005 movies:
Sequels:
Star Wars III
Batman
Harry Potter
Ring II
Punisher II
Remakes:
King Kong
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
War of the Worlds
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
The Producers
The Pink Panther
Guess Who (is coming to dinner)
The Longest Yard
Herbie
All the King’s Men
TV:
Dukes of Hazzard
Fantastic Four
That was written in 2004…
December 14th, 2005 at 6:43 pm
Yes, many movies suck. *When* a person sees a movie is largely irrelevant – the content isn’t going to change over time. So on release weekend or four months later, not much difference. Most of the plots are pretty basic.
Societal rant: The medium should be a form of pleasure – it’s a form of playing. Any person who spends a lot of time in front of a TV is risking becoming addicted to it and missing out on other aspects of life. How is watching TV 6 hours a day (and doing nothing else) different than any other non-productive activity? In short, it should be a diversion, not an obsession. If a person spent 4 hours a day reading old newspapers and 2 hours reading one that was written recently, would we consider that normal? There are a lot of organizations that need volunteers…. /rant
Regarding TiVo and it’s possible changes – build one. A decent PIII, large hard drive, TV Tuner card, and the software is available from the ‘net. Oh, and a Graviton wireless keyboard and mouse – it can work vertically, without a surface – kinda like a laser pointer.
I didn’t think Dukes of Hazard was a movie before – I think it was only a stupid TV show… Which means the movie can’t be a “remake”. Technically, it is it’s own stand-alone piece of crap….
I think there are still many, many stories that can be told with passion, tension, drama, or comedy. But to do so, Hollywood would have to be willing to avoid the stereo-type scripts and characters they have now. Oh, and they’d have to accept an opinion other than “the US is bad”.
December 15th, 2005 at 10:39 am
[…] Speaking of how I only know that a movie is out because it makes the news due to controversy, gay cowboys doesn’t seem like a movie I’d want to go see. Gay cowgirls, on the other hand, would get two err one thumb up. […]
December 15th, 2005 at 12:32 pm
[…] SayUncle wrote a post about how the movie business isn’t doing very well. Today we see another reason for the sharp decline in movie theater attendance. Movie critics. There is only one movie I want to see. King Kong. But now I learn that “movie critics” have discovered troubling metaphors in the movie. Damn movie critics. […]
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:23 pm
[…] […]