Boy Are My Arms Tired!
GQ has a roundup of the 100 funniest jokes of all time. They spread the schtick thick over there. My favorite:
A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. “Father O’Malley,” he says, “my name is Emil Cohen. I’m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I’ve never felt better.” “My good man,” says the priest, “I think you’ve come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?” And the guy goes: “I’m telling everybody!”
None of the jokes deals with firearms, which made me wonder. What are the 100 gunniest jokes of all time?
August 3rd, 2006 at 11:45 am
John Kerry is a sportsman?
August 3rd, 2006 at 12:46 pm
There’s the old stand-by joke about the hunter from [insert state name] who shoots a deer/elk/moose. Excited, he runs up to it, only to find someone else working over it.
“Hey”, he exclaims, “that’s my deer!” The man makes no reply, and keeps working.
“Hey”, he says, louder, “that’s my deer!” The man just grunts, and keeps working.
“Hey”, he yells, raising his gun to his shoulder, “that’s my deer!”
Whereupon the man replies “It sure is. And you can have it as soon as I get my saddle off it.”
The state where the hunter is from depends on where you live. In Utah, he’s from California. In Idaho, he’s from Utah.
August 3rd, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Two Brady Bunchies walk into a bar.
The gun nut ducks.
August 3rd, 2006 at 2:13 pm
There was one, #93:
I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked “Do you have any firearms with you?” I said: “What do you need?’ (Steven Wright)
August 3rd, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Joke #21 should start off “A man was driving his five-year-old son, Xrlq, … ”
🙂
But #53 is my hands-down favorite.
August 3rd, 2006 at 3:43 pm
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
August 3rd, 2006 at 3:59 pm
They both come on little white crackers.
My fave is MJ joke is:
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other carries groceries
August 3rd, 2006 at 4:03 pm
What do MJ and KMart have in common?
They both have little boys’ pants half off.
August 3rd, 2006 at 4:50 pm
When is bedtime at Neverland?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
August 3rd, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Les:
Nice one!
What’s MJ’s favorite thing about twenty-nine year olds?
There are twenty of them.
On a different note:
What’s the difference between your girlfriend and your wife?
About 35, maybe 40 pounds.
August 3rd, 2006 at 5:27 pm
By the way, my above Xrlq joke should not be construed to mean anything other than X seems to like the word “Douchebag.” Just in case anyone wanted to read more into it than that.
August 3rd, 2006 at 9:44 pm
TGirsch: that’s not funny, douchebag.
Here’s one: two Irish guys walk into a bar. What? It could happen!
August 3rd, 2006 at 9:54 pm
X: What, brought back childhood memories, did it? 🙂
August 4th, 2006 at 1:00 am
horse walks into a bar
The bartender says, hey, why the long face?
I though 99 and 100 were the two funniest.
That and the twenty nine year olds.
August 4th, 2006 at 8:50 am
into = out of
I can’t believe I screwed that one up. How lame is that?
August 4th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
X, i kinda like the screwed up version. It has a sort of PC flare to it. And I say that as an Irishman.