Random conversation from the Uncle Clan
Yesterday, me and The Mrs. took the kids to Dollywood. On the way from the car to the entrance, it looked a bit cloudy as though it might rain. I said to the Mrs.: Maybe we should get the umbrella?
The Mrs.: What for?
Me (perplexed that she’s really asking what an umbrella would be used for): To fend off the lions.
April 7th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Let me see if I got this right, first you get a manicure and then you want a umbrella. Where did I fail.
April 7th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
A manicure from a hot blond. Gotta count for something.
April 7th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
vagina envy?
April 7th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Heeer’s yer sign.
April 7th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
If a husband speaks in a forest and his wife is not there to contradict him, does he make a sound? Congratulations! You’re a married man.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Don’t bother trying to understand. It’s one of those male/female conversation things that neither will ever understand.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:48 am
I had a similar conversation with my wife several years ago:
Me: I want to stop at Blockbuster.
Her: Why?
Me: Because the car needs an oil change.
April 8th, 2008 at 3:08 am
Sometimes the possibility of a night on the sofa is so worth the withering glare of a smart ass answer to a dumb ass question.
April 8th, 2008 at 6:41 am
And they wonder why we are less than completely enthusiastic about engaging in frequent and/or extended verbal communication with them.
April 8th, 2008 at 8:33 am
The International Rules of Manhood
April 8th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
This sort of thing happens to me, involving several women of both friendly and familial acquaintance, all the damned time. It’s a fascinating study in female epistemology, which I maintain is a discipline worthy of the distinction. All of my work in the field convinces me that almost all women are just about crippled when it comes to conceptual integration and grasping necessary and obvious logical implications.
Oh, and the thing about women and “multi-tasking” is utter bullshit, too. If I had a single penny for every time I’ve watched a women cinch-up like an oil-drained V-8 while trying to manage two active ideas at once, you’d likely never see me again because I would own my own country.
Further affiant sayeth not.