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What you do instead of something

I use that phrase to describe gun control all the time. It’s also applicable to the war on drugs. Here in Tennessee, everyone is scared to death of the meth. As such, they pass a lot of dumb laws trying to stop the meth from breaking into our homes and raping us and stealing our money. For instance, I currently have some sort of illness which I think is technically called the creeping fucking death. It’s horrid. No amount of chicken based soup or vitamin C or nasal rinse has helped. So, I finally broke down and decided to get some Sudafed.

If you walk into the local drug store, you can’t just grab a pack of Sudafed off the shelf, take it to the cashier and exchange your money for that Sudafed like you could do in a free country where they respect your right to engage in lawful commerce. Oh no. See, instead of being obviously sick (like me), you may be buying that to make the meth. And the meth will kill your babies and may cause drowsiness. So I have to grab a slip of paper off the shelf that has Sudafed written on it and take that piece of paper to the pharmacy counter. There, the pharmacist will ask me to sign for it and write down my driver’s license number. Because meth is the devil and causes global warming, we have a multiple purchase reporting requirement for Sudafed.

For me to be willing to deal with that mess, I have to be really sick. But I did it.

Now there’s competing bills to cause further pain in my ass. One may require a prescription for Sudafed. And the other will, I shit you not, create a Sudafed registry.

I hope every member of the Tennessee legislature who has supported these bills catches what I have. I think I’ll just buy some meth instead. Probably less of a hassle to extract the Pseudoephedrine from the meth.

23 Responses to “What you do instead of something”

  1. John Smith. Says:

    Hell they have an aleve cold and sinus registry why not sudafed???

  2. Ancient Woodsman Says:

    It never ceases to amaze me that here in the “Live Free of Die” state I have to go through much the same thing. I might imagine a connection were I a 50% underweight, mostly toothless pock-marked looks-50 but is actually 20-something street urchin trying to buy a pallet of Sudafed at Costco, but when I’m a greying well-dressed/well-driven, obviously sniffling/sneezing/coughing dad with toddler in tow REGULAR CUSTOMER, trying to buy two Afrin, a Robitusin, several Alka-Seltzer Plus AND God Forbid one small pack of Sudafed and they ask my i.d.? That’s nuts. Pure & simple. Who’s behind the counter – Goldstein?

  3. The Duck Says:

    Amen Brother!!

  4. Canthros Says:

    One of the state legiscritters here in Kentucky also has submitted a bill which would require a prescription for Sudafed (or, presumably, any previously-over-the-counter drug containing pseudephedrine HCl).

    Fucking ridiculous. It’s been annoying enough that I can’t buy Sudafed (or my newest decongestant of choice, Zyrtec D, which doc recommended, but did not prescribe) after about 8pm or on Sunday.

  5. PT Says:

    So a doctor friend of mine needed some sudafed for herself and her boyfriend. The pharmacist refused to sell them more than 1-2 boxes (I can’t remember the limit in Michigan). So she walked out to her car, grabbed her persciprion pad from her white coat, and wrote a perscription for something like 5 boxes.

    The pharmacist was less than amused, but filled it anyways.

    Just goes to show the stupidity of it all.

  6. Mr Evilwrench Says:

    You, sir, are obviously what is wrong with this country. Wanting to buy Sudafed? The thought! Go flagellate yourself, immediately!

    Wholly carp, I remember buying boxes of the stuff for five cents a box because it had “expired”. (Pharmaceuticals in solid form are accepted to be “fully potent” for at least a year past their date) Now I have to leave a dick print to buy a box. Makes me want to pound the snot out of some meth tweak, or maybe a legislator. I miss the days before fascism.

  7. mike w. Says:

    I am happy to have some leftover prescription decongestants from my jaw surgery that’s packed full of psuedoephedrine.

    I hate going through that BS, and the PE free crap is worthless. It doesn’t work.

  8. comatus Says:

    I use a Melitta coffee maker, and need the #6 (large-ish) size filter cone. About a year ago, they vanished from local store shelves. Spitting cotton about taste, the lack of it, and that damn computer at Corporate, I ordered a dozen boxes on yon IntarW3bz.

    Then I found out that large filter cones are a part of every quality meth lab. Now I’m an unhip rube, and I’m on somebody’s list, too.

    But the coffee is really good.

  9. Ted N(not the Nuge) Says:

    I propose weaponizing whatever creeping death you have, and adding it to the state congress’s air system.

    Of course, I’m sure they’ve written in an exemption for themslves, they’re clearly above those silly laws they pass to control us proles.

    Anyway, I hope everybody starts taking field trips to their state legislatures next time they’re sick, and make sure to forget all those personal space rules. Cough on as many people as possible.

  10. Jerry Says:

    No background check, or waiting period, yet. Isn’t civilization wonderful.

  11. Jake Says:

    And just to top it all off, all those laws do bugger all to actually stop people from cooking meth or to reduce it’s availability. And the newest methods require only a few pills, and there are apparently methods that don’t require pseudoephedrine at all.

    X control = what you do instead of something.

  12. Weer'd Beard Says:

    I think I’m gonna go into boston and buy a bunch of meth from the junkies and use my college chemistry classes to cook it back to Sudafed….cept I’m gonna call it “Snot-B-Gone”.

    Call me Robin Fucking Hood!

  13. A Horse Thief Says:

    I’ve completely given up on buying Sudafed. Too much BS for me to deal with when I feel like the walking dead.

  14. Ellen Says:

    If you think the complaints HERE are bad, I’ve read worse. I was on a scuba-diving board. Now if you are well underwater and breathing pressurized air, it is vitally important to have clear nose and sinus passages. You might blow out your eardrums otherwise. So divers with potentially stuffy noses like to take pseudephedrine for a day or two before the dive to dry everything out.

    Woo, the commentary there! Did they say bad things about nannies!

  15. dustydog Says:

    Loratadine worked better for me,
    everyone in the greater DC area seems to have had, or has now, the same sickness

  16. Sigivald Says:

    You have it easy.

    Here in Oregon you need a god-damn prescription for pseudo-ephedrine.

    All to not stop the 75% (DEA numbers, last I saw) of methamphetamine on the US market that’s smuggled in from Mexico.

  17. Diomed Says:

    Last time I was in New Jersey (2007-ish) I could walk out with OTC cold meds like it was a civilized country. Couldn’t do that in VA anymore at that point, which pissed me way the hell off. I expect even Jersey has hopped on the bandwagon by now, since they’ve never met a power grab they didn’t want a piece of.

    The last time I bought cold meds in VA was almost five years ago. And it was the *last* time.

  18. phenicks Says:

    In Missouri it’s by city ordnance. Some cities require prescriptions, or drive 10 min to ones that don’t. The state requires ID and limits # of boxes per ID/ time. Of course the price has gone up w/ the headache.

  19. Justthisguy Says:

    My violin is crying for you, Uncle. (NOT)

    As a gratuitous credit-checker, you got a taste of yer own medicine. It is very easy, especially these days, for an honest man to get a bad credit rating, seeing that all credit ratings are essentially based on gossip.

  20. FatWhiteMan Says:

    My 65 year old father is very frugal. If he sees a good price on something from motor oil to Cheerios he will buy a case or two. He also doesn’t keep up on current events. The other day he had this exchange at the parts store:

    Dad: Is that the correct price on Starting fluid?
    Clerk: yes sir.
    Dad: Great, get me a case.
    Clerk: A case?
    Dad: Yeah, you know, a box full of it.
    Clerk: I know but I can’t sell you a case of starting fluid.
    Dad: Why not?
    Clerk: Because it has ether in it.
    Dad: I know, that is what makes a 1955 carburetor start with it.
    Clerk: But it has ether in it.
    Dad: We established that.
    Clerk: But you could also use it to make meth.
    Dad: What is a meth?
    Clerk: It is a drug.
    Dad: Never heard of it. Is it for cholesterol or my blood pressure?
    Clerk: I dunno. It is a bad drug.
    Dad: And it is in starting fluid?
    Clerk: Well, you need other stuff but ether is used so we do not sell cases of it because you might make some meth.
    Dad: Why would I want to squirt starting fluid in my body? Then I wouldn’t have any to use on that Buick.
    Clerk: Do you want a can or not.
    Dad: I want 12 cans.
    Clerk: but I can’t sell you that many at once.
    Dad: Then how about I buy none, nor buy any of these parts. (walks out) mutters something about commies.

  21. Mopar Says:

    Great, thanks to comatus, I know know my household is on yet another list. My wife also buy the Malitta filters by the case off amazon because they have become so hard to find in the store. She also makes soap, which requires lye. Apparently lye is also used for making meth so it’s become very hard to find in the stores. One local hardware store has it but wants $18 for a 2lb bottle. So I order it for her in bulk online for under $2/lb including shipping. Plus all the ammo and guns (I have a C&R) shipped here all the time. There must be an entire drawer with my name on it in a file cabinet somewhere.

  22. SayUncle Says:

    As a gratuitous credit-checker, you got a taste of yer own medicine. It is very easy, especially these days, for an honest man to get a bad credit rating, seeing that all credit ratings are essentially based on gossip.

    You seem awful obsessed with my former employer’s policy. Got bad credit? No credit? we’re here to help 🙂

  23. John Smith. Says:

    Got bad credit? No credit? we’re here to help

    Sounds like an advertisement for a shylock…

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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