Pro-Tip
Putting sport pipes on your Honda Civic doesn’t make it fast and furious. It makes it sound like it’s perpetually farting.
Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.
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April 8th, 2011 at 9:24 am
What? No penis compensation reference?
April 8th, 2011 at 9:29 am
Imports make the fart go, “Honda!”
April 8th, 2011 at 9:36 am
Just don’t put the fart-can on a gun…that would be evil and bad.
April 8th, 2011 at 9:46 am
Young people today don’t know what a fast car is. They couldn’t handle it if they had one anyway. Most have a loud stereo worth more than the car.
April 8th, 2011 at 9:47 am
the GOOD thing about that fart can sound, though? it tells me who’s trying to race my (slow as dirt) Subaru without actually looking for them.
April 8th, 2011 at 9:48 am
I thought the good thing was that they were like an early warning system.
April 8th, 2011 at 10:05 am
generally, yes, that’s what i mean. 🙂 it lets me know who to avoid without looking ’round for them.
April 8th, 2011 at 10:13 am
“Putting sport pipes on your Honda Civic doesn’t make it fast and furious.”
Maybe not, but putting shiny stickers, stripes, and foreign letters on it makes it fast as hell. Ooh, and a gigantic wing. The big adjustable wing helps Civics stick to the interstate when they’re topped out at 90 mph.
April 8th, 2011 at 11:54 am
Rear Mounted Spoiler + Front Wheel Drive Vehicle = Brilliance.
April 8th, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Young people of every age don’t know anything about vehicular performance. I was an ignoramus when I started out and it was only by my mid 20s that I had a firm grasp of how to properly turbocharge a vehicle, properly set up a suspension for a non shitty level of performance (choose alignment, pick shocks/springs, pick tires and properly inflate them, etc) and drive decently.
The reason for this is that it takes an investment of time and money to learn what works and what doesn’t and to even begin to sift through all the misinformation that is out there. Decent car parts cost money. Trying out different turbo sizes takes time and money. Different ECUs takes time and money. Autocross takes time and money. Track days take time and money. The internet has made it easier to learn these things, but experimentation is really the only way to figure out whose internet advice is good or bad.
April 8th, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Actually a rear spoiler could (in theory) make sense on a front wheel drive vehicle because it would allow you to set the car up for oversteer at low speeds and the drag from the spoiler would make the car more neutral or understeery at higher speeds.
Back when I autocrossed a honda civic, I would run about 10lbs less pressure in the rear tires in addition to much stiffer shocks so that the car wouldn’t understeer everywhere due to being massively front-heavy. The problem is that behavior could be a liability at 150 mph speeds (not my civic, but some theoretical race car) so the spoiler or wing would provide more downward force or at least more drag at the back of the vehicle.
April 8th, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Had a youngun in a Honda pull up beside my STI and rev his engine. I looked over and said “Your dad must have been pissed off when he found the engine missing out of his lawn mower.”, and then drove off.
April 8th, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I used to have a 1968 Caddy Hearse with a 472, a decent cam and some port work. The boys in the souped-up 4-bangers were always stunned when the old miller-meteor went past em. The kids in camaros and mustangs were lots of fun too. No substitute for real torque 😉 “DUDE! you just got beat by a HEARSE!”
April 8th, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Back in the day, those of us who built rat-rods had a saying, “If it don’t GO, chrome it!” Put another way, you could spend your limited dollars on show or go.
Today’s kids are no different, but they’ve altered the formula just a bit: “If it don’t GO, and you can’t put any REAL money under the hood because you just spent $5K slamming it and putting in that KILLER sound system, put a Coffee Can on it and make it sound FIERCE.”
April 8th, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Never did understand why they were slower than me (no leadfoot) off the lights, because my dead-stock Honda CRV is running a lower-tune (non-VTEC) version of the same B-series engine and has an extra 500 Kg of weight to move.
I guess the “sport pipes” turn the energy into noise instead of into go.
April 8th, 2011 at 8:56 pm
that’s because those engines are designed to work with a specific amount of back pressure. Lowering that back pressure without retuning the engine, which takes more than just unhooking the battery for a while, seriously degrades performance. I knew a guy a while back that put an intake/exhaust pack on his Civic. It didn’t sound bad but it wasn’t fast. He was amazed when he took all that crap off and put the stock back on that his car actually got faster.
April 8th, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Maybe not, but putting shiny stickers, stripes, and foreign letters on it makes it fast as hell. Ooh, and a gigantic wing. The big adjustable wing helps Civics stick to the interstate when they’re topped out at 90 mph.
Jeebus! I have a 2010 Mazda 3 SV, the base model. It has a 2.0 liter engine and single exhaust. I can easily get it up to 90 mph. If that’s the best these so called hot rods can do then I can only laugh.
April 9th, 2011 at 12:41 am
I believe the spelling phart, as in phart pipe on their phat ride.
April 9th, 2011 at 2:24 am
When it sounds like a 4 cyl motorcycle, then they got it right. Or, if you hear a turbo whistle. But when I hear those stupid flatulence cans, I just laugh. It’s like an IQ test for the driver.